Professional Baby Namers Are Now a Thing

Sophie Miura

Have you ever wondered what's in a name? Well, according to a new fleet of professional baby-naming services, a lot. In fact, if these baby namers are to be believed, choosing the wrong moniker could result in a lower chance of success or popularity for your child.

Not convinced? Albert Mehrabian, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles, has devised the Baby Name Report Card, a science-backed system to choose the best name. According to Bloomberg, the system rates options in four categories: ethical-caring, popular-fun, success, and masculine or feminine. 

"Polly is not a heavyweight name," Mehrabian tells Bloomberg. "Polly gets a very high score, 98 percent, on ethical-caring, 87 percent for popular-fun, which makes sense, it’s a joyful name. But it gets a 12 percent in success." On the other hand, classic names like Elizabeth, James, and Steven get a perfect score.

If you believe your baby is destined for fame, a Swiss agency called Erfolgswelle focuses on branding children, and it will pick an option after two-to-three weeks and roughly 100 hours of research. The firm checks that the name hasn't been trademarked and is different to other distinguishable world leaders and celebrities.

Tossing up between Jasmine or Jessica? For roughly $29,000, someone will tell you which name is best. 

Looking for baby name recommendations without enlisting a service? Shop the Tinder-like app below.

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