Celebrity Couples Share Their Secrets to Long-Lasting Love
In an industry where new romances ignite each week and relationships last about as long as the latest box-office hit, finding long-lasting love in Hollywood can be a minefield. It only takes a glance at the latest gossip websites to see that dating in the public eye can spell disaster for most celebrities—except a select few.
Despite having their relationship milestones scrutinized and photographed, a number of A-list couples have managed to traverse the dating scene and found the secret to making their relationship last, no matter what. From Michelle and Barack Obama's honest stance on not giving up to Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick's friends-first mantra, this is how they've learned to juggle success and ego with honesty and love.
This is what it actually takes to make a relationship last, according to celebrity couples who've done it.
Talk Openly and Often
When it comes to going the distance, It couple Olivia Palermo and Johannes Huebl told Cosmopolitan Latina that their mantra is simple: “I think it’s about trust and communication. Open communication and supporting one another,” says Palermo. “You should not be too uptight and not take things too seriously, but also enjoy a little bit.”
Their secret: Talk openly and often. Frantic schedules and individual careers can make it hard to pencil in time to properly touch base with your S.O. Prioritize time together without devices to speak frankly.
Be Friends First
They're poised to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary in 2018 and have three gorgeous children, but for Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick, the secret to a long-lasting romantic relationship is honoring friendship first. “We really are friends beyond everything else, and we talk a lot,” says Broderick. His advice for other couples is to focus on open communication and laugh more: “Keep talking, I guess—I know how cliché that is! Too much silence is definitely not a good idea. She’s really funny; she makes me laugh. I’m very blessed being married to her,” he says.
Their secret: Friendship first. Chemistry and romance are important, but having a solid friendship is the ultimate foundation for a lasting relationship.
Be Prepared to Work Hard
During their 25 years of marriage, former president Barack Obama and wife Michelle Obama say they’ve experienced the highs and lows of marriage and have relished every challenge. “Marriage is hard work. Even the best of marriages require a lot of work—even if you’re married to your soul mate who has very few flaws. Building a life with a person other than yourself … and dealing with all of the bumps and the bruises and the joys and the pains that go along with life … it’s a challenge,” Michelle told Glamour. “Don’t give up on it. Just understand that you’re going along the path that everybody else goes on. Go in ready for the work.”
Their secret: Embrace the tough times. Be realistic and mindful from the start of a relationship that it will be challenging. Acknowledging that marriage is hard work and giving it your all are the first steps.
Schedule Time Together
Victoria’s Secret Angel Doutzen Kroes and Dutch DJ Sunnery James tied the knot in 2010 at an intimate ceremony in Amsterdam. The photogenic couple have two children: son Phyllon and daughter Myllena Mae. With two conflicting schedules, the couple says prioritizing time together is key. “We compare diaries a lot and count how many days that we are going to be apart. I definitely plan more,” she tells Vogue. Kroes says motherhood has boosted her modeling career but that she’s had to scale down commitments to balance her work and home lives.
Their secret: Prioritize time together, and be ready to alter your commitments and schedule to suit. Whether you’re a world-class model-and-DJ couple or just trying to juggle two busy careers, staying in sync is a must. Set aside a night each week to spend time together and show that you’ll move other appointments to make it work.
Listen and Learn
One of Hollywood’s great love stories, actress Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have been together for over three decades. Hawn, 71, and Russell, 65, say their relationship isn’t perfect, but they’ve learned how to push through difficult times together. “In relationships, particularly love relationships, people are impatient. They don’t listen,” Hawn told People. “You have to want to stay together, and we really want to. Continuing to listen and grow is important because we get into bad habits in relationships. We’re cognizant of these things in our relationships, being mindful and caring and listening,” she says.
Hawn also says living in the moment has helped them stay present in their relationship. When the couple started dating, she said, “We’re so happy now; why tamper the perfection? It’s like Kurt and I say, I hope to be with him forever, but maybe that won’t happen either. There’s no way of knowing those things.”
Their secret: Learn to listen and live in the moment. Don’t over plan your future; focus on being the best partner you can be in the present moment, and the rest will follow.
Separate Your S.O. From Their Career
“I was 18 when we first met, 19 when we started dating,” Beyoncé recalls about husband Jay Z. “There was no rush. No one expected me to run off and get married. We were friends first, for a year and a half, before we went on any date, [we were] on the phone for a year and a half,” she told Seventeen. “And that foundation is so important in a relationship. And just to have someone that you just like, is so important. And someone that is honest.”
Their secret: Separate the job from the person. When life becomes intertwined with ego, accomplishments, and success, your relationship needs a solid foundation. Getting to know your partner separate from their career or achievements helps remind you both about your core values and why you’re together.
What’s your secret to a successful, long-lasting relationship?
This story was originally published on March 16, 2016. Updated by Sophie Miura.