How to Get a Man to Notice You, According to Science

Katie Sweeney

I have a confession: The last time I had a long-term boyfriend it was 2005; I’ve been single for the past 10 and a half years. Yikes! While I’ve dated a lot of men for several weeks at a time, and even felt like I was falling in love once or twice, nothing ever made the transition from a few months or days of dating to a serious relationship. It’s been months since I had any real action—unless you consider chatting with the matches on a dating app action—and I’m starting to wonder what I’m doing wrong. Clearly, something has to change, so I’ve decided to take a more scientific approach to things. What are proven ways that a female can attract a male? I set out to figure out just that. Here’s how science says you can get a man to notice you.

Laugh at his jokes.

Humor is sexy to both males and females, but in different ways. According to Mating Intelligence Unleashed, “Recent research suggests that while both men and women say they like a ‘good sense of humor’ in a potential mate, they differ in what they mean by this phrase. Women tend to prefer men who make them laugh, whereas men tend to prefer women who laugh at their jokes.” Therefore, we can boost our attractiveness by laughing more often.

Play hard to get.

You’ve heard it from your mom countless times. “Be mysterious,” she says. “Play hard to get.” Now science says you should do it too. In 59 Seconds: Change Your Life Under a Minute, the researchers found that “the best strategy is to give a potential date the impression that in general you are hard to get and therefore a scarce resource worth having.”

Tell him you like him.

If you like the guy, make your intentions known. In How to Make Someone Fall in Love With You in 90 Minutes, Dr. Arthur Aron (the man behind The New York Times’ famed 36 questions test that illustrates how two people can find love by asking a series of intimate questions) explains the importance of making your feelings clear. “If you ask people about their experience of falling in love, over 90% will say that a major factor was discovering that the other person liked them,” Aron says.

Talk about emotional and personal information.

On this season of The Bachelor, Ben Higgins has encouraged the girls to open up to him and talk about emotional and personal information. Dr. Aron’s 36 questions are a good starting point. The next time you’re on a date, memorize a few to get deep with your potential lover. Questions include What would constitute a perfect day for you? If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Flirt.

Apparently flirting, in which you signal availability, is more effective than looking good. Dr. Monica Moore, a psychologist who has conducted research on flirting has concluded (in How to Make Someone Fall in Love With You in 90 Minutes) that “it’s not the most physically appealing people who get approached, but the ones who signal their availability and confidence through basic flirting techniques like eye contact and smiles. Smiling and eye contact are the most beneficial types of flirting and work for both sexes.” The Mating Game explains that “available evidence suggests that men and women around the world use many of the same nonverbal behaviors to communicate romantic interest. … Smiling and eye contact do appear to be universal methods used by men and women to convey romantic interest.” An occasional touch on the arm never hurts, either!

Wear high heels.

Men are more receptive to women who wear high heels. According to a study published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behaviorhigh heels increase a woman’s attractiveness.

Shop essential date accessories below.

Do you have a boyfriend, fiancé, or husband? Has he ever told you what made you catch his eye? Spill below. 

Add a Comment

More Stories
1