Turns Out Your S.O. Is Faking It in Bed—Here's Why
The next time you’re racked with post-coital guilt over faking it with your S.O., well, don’t be. According to a recent study published in Sexual and Relationship Therapy, women and men do it.
After surveying 230 North American men between the ages of 18 to 29, researchers from the University of Quebec at Montréal and the University of Guelph in Ontario, Canada, learned that over the course of four months, the subjects faked orgasms a whopping 30% of the time. Now, that pales in comparison to how often women manufacture an O—a 2010 study showed 80% of women admitted to faking orgasms—but it does help dispel the myth that all men are absolved of bedroom theatrics.
Now that we’ve established that men do in fact fake orgasms during sex, let’s look at why. According to those surveyed, the most common reasons were intoxication, an attempt to boost a partner’s self-esteem, and the desire to orgasm simultaneously. Surprisingly, good old-fashioned bad sex barely even registered.
“Participants were most likely to report feigning orgasm in order to buttress a partner’s self-esteem, and for reasons related to timing,” explained Lea Seguin, the study’s lead author. “Participants were least likely to report feigning because the sex, or their partner, was unappealing.”
This means that faking an orgasm has nothing to do with being in a toxic relationship. On the contrary, men who fake orgasms do it for the benefit of their partner.
“Unlike the popular belief, the act of faking orgasm per se does not mean that your relationship is not going well, or that you have a bad sex life,” Seguin added. “In fact, it can even be positively associated with desire, and relationship and sexual satisfaction in some cases, at least among men.”
So, if you ever catch your partner doing a Meg Ryan circa When Harry Met Sally… impression in bed, instead of getting offended, perhaps take solace in the knowledge that it’s all for you.
Build a relationship that lasts by reading The 5 Love Languages, and tell us: Would finding out that your partner is faking it bother you?