Wondering What to Text After a First Date? We Asked the Experts

Gabrielle Savoie

Modern technology has undeniably blurred the lines of traditional dating. Let's face it: Phone calls elicit more raised eyebrows than pounding hearts, and women are no longer ones to sit by their phones hoping for their date to make the first move after a first encounter, but that doesn't make the follow-up post–first date any less daunting: Did they feel the same way you did? Did you even like them? Maybe you weren't convinced, but you'd still like the reassurance of a follow-up text? With no official rulebook, dating can feel not too dissimilar than walking a tightrope with blinders on.

To shed light on the new conventions of texting after a first date, we called on the help of two modern-day dating experts, Nikki Lewis and Greta Tufvesson, co-founders of the matchmaking service The Bevy. One of the most asked questions among singles: Who should text first? "A little mystery during the courting phase is always a must," says Lewis. "Depending on who pays for the first date, the other party should send a text later that night or the next morning thanking them for the night before."

Now that you know whether you should work up the courage to send the initiating text after a first date, how long should you wait? "Pretend you have other things to do, even if you don't," says Tufvesson. "There is no need to text someone right as you hop into your Uber to leave. If you had a good time, there is also no reason to wait three days to text. That's immature. Text them the next day—not at 6 a.m., obviously, but at noon."

Don't agonize another second over what to send, as we asked the two dating pros to share foolproof texts for every first date scenario.

Next up: 18 things I've learned after going on over 20 dates.

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