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When you’re dating someone new, it’s important to be able to recognize this person’s true intentions right from the start, especially if your goal is to have a long-term and long-lasting relationship with him or her. In fact, with today’s numerous dating apps and sites, it’s never been easier for serial daters to continue to play the field and date a seemingly endless supply of different men and women. So in order to prevent yourself from wasting your time with someone who’s looking for the next best swipe rather than a real and meaningful relationship, here are the six warning signs that you’re with a serial dater rather than someone who’s actually serious about finding love.
What Is a Serial Dater?
A serial dater is someone who dates many people but avoids long-term commitments and relationships. They thrive on the thrill of the chase.
1. This Person Doesn’t Talk About Your Future Together
One of the clear signs that you’re with a serial dater is that he or she refuses to discuss a future with you. To that end, even making long-term plans may make him or her uneasy or uncomfortable, and he or she may change the subject in order to avoid having to give any sign of a commitment going forward. So if you notice that your partner isn’t interested in discussing what lies ahead for the two of you as a couple, even if it’s committing to being your plus one at a friend's upcoming wedding, it’s likely because it’s not going to happen.
2. This Person Doesn’t Open up to You
Along these lines, an additional sign that you’re with a serial dater is that he or she refuses to open up to you about anything remotely personal. After all, in order to build a deep and meaningful connection with someone, it’s important to be able to open up about your feelings, your past, and your hopes and dreams. On the other other hand, a serial dater will opt to keep things light and stay close-lipped about anything that falls into the personal category since he or she isn’t actually interested in investing in your relationship.
3. This Person Doesn’t Introduce You to Anyone Significant in His or Her Life
Another sign that you’re with a serial dater is that he or she doesn’t make an effort to introduce you to the other people in his or her life who are important to him or her. In fact, serial daters tend to date so many people that there’s no one they feel is even worth introducing to their friends and family. To that end, introducing you may cause confusion or a name slip-up where you may be mistaken for another person who’s currently on his or her dating roster.
4. This Person Doesn’t Give You His or Her Full Attention
If you’re wondering if you’re with a serial dater, another key indicator is that your partner is never fully present when you’re together. In fact, if he or she is constantly texting others, seems distracted, and even acts in a secretive and evasive way, these are clear signs that you're with a serial dater. To that end, it’s not uncommon for serial daters to be swiping, messaging, and setting up plans with other people when you’re hanging out with one another.
5. This Person Doesn’t Keep Commitments
Another indicator that you’re with a serial dater is that he or she frequently breaks plans and other commitments that he or she made with you. In other words, if he or she often cancels plans to hang out at the last minute, isn’t entirely trustworthy, and generally overpromises and under-delivers, he or she isn’t truly serious about you or the state of your relationship. And if you’re constantly feeling let down by this person and don’t think that you can take this person at his or her word, the words you’re actually looking for are, “serial dater.”
6. This Person Is Only Looking for Physical Intimacy
Another sign that you’re with a serial dater is that he or she is highly interested in being with you physically but isn’t interested in investing in you emotionally. In fact, serial daters are often eager to turn up the heat in the physical sense but aren’t looking to truly get to know you in any other capacity. So if you’re feeling as though your partner is only interested in something physical, it’s time to wave goodbye to this serial dater and find someone who’s truly worthy of you in every respect.
Alexopoulos C Timmermans E, McNallie J. Swiping More, Committing Less: Unraveling the Links Among Dating App Use, Dating App Success, and Intention to Commit Infidelity. Comput Human Behav. 2020;102:172-180. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2019.08.009