Whether you are a mother or father, after divorce, life changes dramatically. You have had to heal from the pain of your divorce, and you may have also taken on the responsibility of primary care for your child(ren). You also have to put food on the table, keep a roof over the family’s head, and, at times, deal with an irrational ex. On top of those things, you naturally want to date and hopefully enjoy a fulfilling sex life.
Below are six common challenges that single parents face today.
Healing from the Divorce
Part of moving on to a new life is healing from the pain left from your old one. When you are stuck in old pain, the possibilities for your new life are limited. Everyone heals differently; a reliable support network will certainly help the process. Therapists and counselors can also offer healthy ways of coping with all the changes in your life.
Parenting After Divorce
Parents who are divorced have a difficult time, but one of their major concerns is how to lead their children through the divorce process in a healthy way so that they feel loved, nurtured, and protected. The healthier the divorce process is for your child, the easier that child will be to parent after divorce. It is important to have open lines of communication with your child so that they are unafraid to ask you questions about what is happening and so you can answer them and ease their mind.
Providing the Essentials
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average woman’s family income drops by 37% after divorce. In other words, women suffer more financially than men do from divorce. That said, single fathers have also been known to have a hard time providing for themselves with alimony and other payments ordered in a divorce decree. It is highly recommended to engage in financial planning prior to filing for the divorce; if that is not possible, the first few months after the divorce may require some sacrifices from your former lifestyle.
When you start to pick up the pieces of your life and start dating again, it can feel a bit strange. If you were married for a long time, you may even feel too intimidated to try dating again. This may be somewhere you surprise yourself: now is the time to explore the other fish in the sea, as they say. Dating should be fun and not a chore; it especially should not interfere with the lives of your children, and that should be a priority when looking for new people to see.
A troubled marriage can affect how you see sex. Like with dating, it should always be fun and a positive experience, and you should not start having sex before you are ready. When you do, you will have the opportunity to learn new ways of intimate connection with others. While your dating life and your sex life do not have to be identical, it is important to have priorities and standards for each aspect of your life.
The Irrational Ex-Spouse
Sometimes you have to deal with conflict and chaos after the divorce is final due to irrational actions by an ex. This could mean getting tied up in court due to many issues, including custody, visitation, child support, and alimony. The best way to address these issues are in court or with your attorney. In this situation, at least there are legal procedures to rely on.