The One Rule to Follow When Moving In With Your S.O.

You know what can break the spell of those happily-ever-after bells ringing in the air after the proposal?

An impending move-in date.

Living in New York, I don’t take housing lightly. After seeing so many couples who lived together end up breaking up and going through the painful process of splitting their things and searching for last-minute couches to surf (while mending their broken hearts, no less), I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t move in until there was a fucking nonrefundable diamond on my finger. (It actually ended up being a beautiful pink sapphire, but I digress.)

Interestingly enough, actually merging our things together into a teeny-tiny one-bedroom apartment on the Upper West Side proved to be a great test of how we problem-solved as a couple, and it also gave me so much insight into how my future husband’s mind worked. For example, apparently dining chairs aren’t meant to have arms because they get in the way of eating, and coffee tables shouldn’t be see-through. Did you know these rules?

As ridiculous and specific as his furniture tastes were, I realized I couldn’t bulldoze him into making every décor choice I wanted (thankfully—I mean, you want them to have a backbone, right?). So I found myself listening to a software engineer’s ever-so-tedious analysis on coasters (can’t be square) and rugs (can’t be bumpy) that when a press email came across my inbox with the subject line “Furniture Shopping: The Secret Killer of Relationships,” I just had to laugh.

Thankfully, my software engineer and I made it to our wedding day while successfully furnishing our apartment, so I’ve put together a few guidelines on how you, too, can avoid killing an otherwise flourishing relationship as you take it to the next step—moving in together—with confidence.