This Is Why Guys Aren't Messaging You Back on Dating Apps


Original Illustration by Stephanie DeAngelis

There's a growing coterie of dating app users who prefer to use their profiles to garner matches instead of relationships. According to Business Insider, this effect is more pronounced among heterosexual men than women, with men almost indiscriminately swiping right on all profiles and sending far fewer messages. Heterosexual women, on the other hand, are more selective and actually want to engage in conversation with their matches.

To decipher this issue of minimal follow-up on the men's part, Business Insider's Shana Lebowitz followed up with  Tinder's in-house sociologist, Dr. Jess Carbino. She believes the issue is due in part to the fact that men just don't know what to say when they match with a woman (with the opposite being true as well). 

Carbino suggests adding more conversation starters to your dating profile in an effort to bridge the communication gap. If you're interested in travel, for example, Carbino suggests listing a few places you've been in your profile and ending with a pointed question like, "What's your next destination?" "A lot of individuals need to have fodder to make conversation," she adds. "It's very difficult for people sometimes to put themselves forward and try to make that first move."

What's in your dating app etiquette guidebook? Share your tips below, and shop The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating for more on the topic.