We hope this comes as a relief to couples who feel pressured to be happy all the time: You're allowed to have bad days. Even the seemingly perfect couple who is affectionate, supportive, and in love has a few not-so-perfect moments. Just like any other couple, they argue, too. That said, the happiest couples in the healthiest relationships have figured out how to address conflict so that after a heated conversation, their relationship can continue to grow and thrive. Even though every happy couple is different, they all share certain characteristics that contribute to their success.
If you're wondering whether or not your marriage is in a good place, consider this list your guide.
You Feel Safe
This may sound a bit counterintuitive, but one key element. of a happy relationship is that you feel as safe and secure with your spouse as you do when you're alone. A successful relationship comprises two individuals, so if you feel insecure or unsatisfied when your partner is on a trip, out with friends, or at work, you may have lost a piece of yourself to your relationship. You should feel as strong on your own as you do when you're standing next to your partner.
In order for a relationship to work, both parties need to motivate each other to live their best lives, both as a couple and as individuals. You should both feel enthusiastic about pursuing your dreams and be able to work together to achieve them. Not to sound cheesy, but a marriage is like a team, so you should always feel like your partner has your best interests at heart and encourages you to grow as an individual.
You Accept Each Other
When you marry your partner, you agree to accept them as they are. If you feel like they're trying to change you, that may be a sign that your marriage could be in need of a reevaluation. That said, there are exceptions. For instance, if you are hyper-organized and your spouse is, well, not, you can encourage them to be a bit tidier without making them feel bad. Even if you have controlling tendencies, you shouldn't have the urge to transform your partner into someone they're not.
When it comes down to it, you don't have to love every single thing about your spouse, but you do have to accept them for who they are.
You Don't Fear Honesty
Both parties in a happy relationship should feel secure in expressing their opinions without fear. Even though the truth may hurt, your partner will definitely appreciate your honesty in the long-run because it's coming from a place of love. Unconditional trust is one of the foundations of a happy marriage, so even if your partner is upset by something you say, they'll be able to get over it because, at the end of the day, they know you're only looking for them.
Your Relationship Is Your Priority
Of course, there are plenty of important things in life, but when you get married, you're moving one of those things to the top of your list. If something comes up that may cause stress in the relationship, like an argument over whose family you'll spend the holidays with, deferring to what is best for the relationship should come naturally. If your immediate instinct is to be right rather than civil, that's not a great sign.
That said, you don't need ever to feel as though you can't or shouldn't speak your mind, but if the stressful event isn't that big of a deal, save yourselves from an argument and consider doing what's best for you two as a couple.
You're Positive Towards Your Partner
While you may get annoyed at your partner for their constant lateness or forgetfulness, you generally have only positive things to say about your relationship and partner. The bigger things, like your spouse's overall character as both a person and a partner, are things you love.