How to Use Feng Shui to Attract Love

Updated 08/06/19
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The way you decorate your home can say a lot about your personality and your unique sense of style. Apparently, it can also help you attract love. "There is most definitely a connection between your home and your love life," says Laura Benko, author of The Holistic Home and founder of The Holistic Home Company. If you're in a relationship, tensions between you and your partner may manifest in your surroundings at home, she explains. For example, if one partner is too dominant, their presence in the home is likely to be overbearing as well."

Meet The Expert

Author Laura Benko is a holistic lifestyle expert known for combining age-old feng shui traditions with her own comprehensive holistic approach. She is the founder and owner of the luxury goods enterprise, and will be launching her own school, The Holistic Home School of Feng Shui July 2019.

If you are tired of single life, she recommends taking a look at how you are "reinforcing singleness" in your home.

Curious how to use feng shui to attract love? Take Benko's advice and see if rearranging the furniture and rethinking décor choices lead to romance.

Think Pink

Alyssa Rosenheck; DESIGN: Amanda Barnes Interiors

The color pink represents love in feng shui, according to Benko. If pink isn't your thing, you can decorate with shades of nudes for a more sophisticated look. While this is the first color that comes to mind when it comes to using feng shui to attract love, Benko makes it clear that it really is up to the individual. "If you hate pink or red, it will only make you angry or uncomfortable to surround yourself with that color," she says.

If you're unsure where to start, simply pick colors that make you feel best. You can even set an intention that you are adding whatever color you choose to bring love into your life, Benko adds. "Do this while holding a visualization of the outcome you desire," she says. "When it comes down to it, manifesting powerful results comes from within while knowing that you are creating an environment that is congruent with your specific needs and goals."

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Pair Things Up

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If you are single and hoping to be in a relationship, Benko suggests taking a good look at your current décor and identifying areas in which your singleness is visible in your home. "A single chair, artwork featuring just one person, lone collectibles or singular imagery all promote the energy of one," Benko explains. In order to combat these subconscious single reinforcers, she recommends pairing things up. Replace a single painting with a diptych and move your furniture so that your chairs sit side by side.

Benko also believes that it is necessary to physically make room for a partner in your life. "Make space in your closet, your medicine cabinet, your refrigerator—create an environment where even a prospective suitor coming into your home would feel like metaphorically and physically there is room for them in your life."

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Focus on the Bedroom

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This one is rather obvious, but Benko calls the bedroom the "energetic epicenter for love," meaning this is the place to focus on when using feng shui to attract passion and romance. "It's where we mostly rest, rejuvenate, reflect, and have sex. So it's very important to create an environment that supports those activities," she says.

When it comes to creating this environment, it's essential to strive for a balance of energies through your décor choices. "If your bedroom is too frilly and delicate—or on the opposite spectrum, very dark, masculine, and septic—it's important that you find a balance in the middle so it's comfortable and balanced for both energies, regardless of the genders that dwell there," Benko explains.

Additionally, comfort is key. Benko suggests investing in luxury sheets and lighting with dimmers or incandescent bulbs. It's also helpful to rid the space of exercise equipment and clutter, as these reminders of what you haven't done "can ruin the vibe," according to Benko. Instead of to-do lists and unopened mail, fill your bedroom with soothing artwork and use aromatherapy sprays or candles to make sure the space always smells lovely.

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Arrange Your Bed in a Commanding Position

Space Exploration

In order to use your bedroom furniture to attract love, it's best to arrange your bed in what Benko calls the commanding position. "Position your bed so that you can see the entrance when you are lying in the bed, but not in direct alignment with the door." This arrangement can subconsciously boost your confidence because you're able to see who is entering your space without feeling startled or vulnerable, according to Benko. "Confidence in the bedroom is a game changer."

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Freshen Up

Katie Martinez

In the same way that certain items can attract love, others can inhibit it. "Be sure to rid your home of items that keep you stuck in the past," Benko says. That means it's time to toss any old memorabilia from an ex that no longer serves you. Think of this as an emotional cleanse. Benko also suggests removing anything broken or lifeless from your home. Always replace dried flowers with fresh new ones and don't hang on to broken items that you can't use anymore.

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Fire is an element in feng shui that helps instigate the spark in a new relationship or keep the love burning in a current one.

Nurture the Fire Element

Katie Martinez

"Fire is an element in feng shui that helps instigate the spark in a new relationship or keep the love burning in a current one," Benko explains. You can bring this element into your home in a few different ways. Quite literally, a fireplace or a burning candle can be used to attract love. You can also incorporate the color red into a space with accent pieces like a throw blanket, rug, painting, or red wall. The only thing to remember is that there should be a balance. "Make sure you don't go overboard," says Benko. "Too much red can lead to aggression and anger. Start gradually and sit with it before adding more."


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