A few weeks ago, my therapist said something that resonated with me. I was telling her that the guy I was dating decided he didn’t want to date me anymore, and I was worried my married friends would judge me for not being able to land a relationship. That’s when my therapist said, “Katie, you’ve got to stop categorizing everyone as single or coupled.” Immediately speechless, I realized that I did label everyone, from my childhood friends to the random guy I talked to at a book signing, as single or in a relationship. When I meet somebody new, be it a man or woman, I look to see if they have a wedding ring, and I think of them differently if they do. I’m the one who is doing the judging—often with people I don’t know, based on their relationship status. How horribly unhealthy, right? Since that session, I’ve made a conscious effort to change my thinking. Here’s what I’ve learned along the way.