If you've been cheated on, you might be experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. You may feel devastated one moment and angry the next. When you’re dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, these six steps can help you cope with what transpired and deal with the emotional roller coaster of betrayal.
1. Work Through Your Feelings
You’ll likely experience different emotions as you processed what happened. For instance, it’s common to feel disappointed or betrayed after infidelity, so take a moment to recognize these feelings are normal. Rather than suppressing your emotions, work through them. Coming to terms with what happened is integral to the healing process.
2. Don’t Blame Yourself
It's all too easy to blame yourself for what happened, but you're not responsible for your partner's actions. Rather than finding fault with yourself or obsessing over what might have been, place the blame squarely on the cheater.
3. Don’t Live in the Past
Are you questioning everything about your relationship, replaying conversations in an attempt to discover what went wrong? Obsessing over the past isn’t healthy or productive. Instead of dwelling on hypotheticals, focus on the future rather than negativity.
4. Think About What You Want
Moving on after infidelity means taking the lead on how you want to live your life. Do you want to break up with your partner or do you want to work on your relationship? These are important questions without right or wrong answers, and regardless of what others say, your greatest concern should be yourself. For instance, if your partner’s actions are a deal-breaker for you, break up with your partner. On the flip side, you may feel hurt and betrayed by your partner but still want them in your life. Or, then again, you may also not be sure what you want. That's OK. The decision is yours alone to make.
5. Take Care of Yourself
When you’re dealing with something as life-changing as infidelity, this type of news can take a toll on you emotionally as well as physically. For instance, you may want to shut out the outside world and not see or talk to anyone. You may notice that you have difficulty concentrating at work or even find it hard to get the energy or desire to take care of yourself. But it’s especially important when faced with hardship and disappointment that you practice self-love and self-care during these difficult moments in your life. You’re stronger than you think you are. And if you believe that things will get better, treat yourself with respect, and make yourself a priority, you’re one step closer to getting over being cheated on and taking control of the rest of your life.
6. Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help
If you want to get over being cheated on, don't be afraid to lean on those around you for support. Being cheated on by your partner can make you feel isolated and alone. However, it would be best if you weren't afraid to reach out to friends and family after this has happened and surround yourself with people who care about you and your well-being. Plus, it would help if you also didn't hesitate to meet with a trained professional who can help give you personalized strategies to deal with your new reality. You don't have to face this alone, and having more people in your corner who have your back is only going to make it easier for you to see the light at the end of the tunnel.