6 Signs You’re Growing and Drifting Apart From Your Partner

A woman who's worried about her and her partner drifting apart.

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Whether you’re in the dating phase or are in a committed relationship with your partner, you may find yourself wondering if the two of you still make sense as a couple. For instance, perhaps things simply seem off, difficult, or forced when you’re together, or you’re finding it harder to imagine a future with your significant other. When these kinds of thoughts and doubts emerge, it's important to realize that the disconnect isn't simply all in your head. Taking steps to nip certain issues—like checking out and putting off togetherness—in the bud now, before your difficulties are irreparable, is crucial in fostering communication and improving your coupling.

Read on for the six key signs that indicate the health of your relationship may be in jeopardy, and that you and your S.O. may actually be drifting apart.

1. You Don't Pay Attention to Them

If you’re wondering if you’re growing apart from your partner, one of the clear signs is that you’re no longer interested in and/or paying attention to them when you’re spending time together. For instance, you may find that your mind wanders when they are talking, you don’t pay attention to the particulars or details they mention to you, and you choose to place your focus on your phone or on the TV in order to avoid having to listen to this person. In other words, when you’re no longer interested in the actual words that your partner is saying, it’s time to admit that you’re drifting apart.

2. You Don't Do Favors

Another key indicator that you’re growing apart from your partner is that you no longer care to go out of your way for this person. For instance, while you used to perform random acts of kindness, do special favors, or engage in activities and attend functions that are important to them, you no longer feel the need to do anything that puts his or her needs first. And when you don’t truly care about your partner’s feelings, wants and desires, you should pay attention to your own feelings and recognize that you’re drifting apart.

3. You Can't Agree

While it’s actually important for couples to have opinions that differ from time to time, a clear sign that you’re drifting apart is that you can’t find anything on which you agree. In fact, if you have opposite stances when it comes to almost every topic and your conversations with one another seem to always turn into heated arguments and debates, it’s time to throw in the towel and recognize that you and your partner are drifting apart. Remember, when you and your partner no longer see eye to eye, you should know in your heart that you’re heading in separate directions. 

4. You'd Rather Spend Time Without Them

An additional sign that you and your partner are drifting apart can be found in your desire to literally physically separate yourself from him or her. In other words, if you’re constantly seeking out opportunities to be without this person, don’t look forward to being with him or her, and find yourself putting off activities that involve the two of you, it should come as no surprise that you’re actively growing apart from your partner. 

5. There's No Physical Intimacy

With this in mind, another key sign that you and your partner are drifting apart is that you’re no longer physically intimate with one another. Being intimate with your partner is an integral part of building a happy, healthy and long-lasting relationship. So if you’re sensing that you no longer want to be with this person in this kind of close and personal way, it’s clear that you and your partner are drifting and it’s time to part ways.

6. There's No Emotional Intimacy

Along these lines, an additional indicator that you’re growing apart from your partner is that you no longer want to open up to them. In other words, when you don’t want to share details of your day, aren’t interested in letting him or her know your true feelings or thoughts about a particular subject, and don’t want to be bothered with opening up to him or her, these are tell-tale signs that you’re drifting apart. Remember, successful and meaningful relationships are built on trust, honesty, and openness, so if you no longer feel the need to take these important steps, it’s clear that you’re going down a different path from your partner. 

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