When trying to make dating a priority, many people begin by listing off all the traits their ideal partner must possess. They need to be funny, smart, witty, compassionate, loyal… The list goes on. Aside from potentially setting expectations too high and closing yourself off to prospective partners who fall short of your criteria, this kind of list fails to consider one important thing: you.
"If and when you decide to get into the dating game, focus on embodying the qualities you hope to find in others, rather than picking your potential paramours apart," writes wellness coach Annice Star for MindBodyGreen. "[Doing so is] not only fair to those you will encounter, but it also demonstrates that you embody the qualities you seek." Star speaks to the conventional wisdom peppered across Pinterest boards and journals everywhere: Be the person you want to meet.
"Why do this? Because the law of attraction says we can't attract anything we don't already have. That's why relationship coaches advise clients to clean up their own houses first, so to speak," writes Star. "Only then will you be ready to find the kind of person you want to invite inside." She gives the example of wanting a partner who is deep. In that case, you must first ask yourself, Am I deep? Do I focus on looks too much? Same goes for honesty, self-assuredness, generosity, and more. Go through your own list, and turn it around on yourself first.
Head over to MindBodyGreen for the rest of Star's tips, and share your relationship resolutions with us below.