Happiness is subjective, but nonetheless, most people spend their entire lives chasing their unique definition of it. While family, personal and professional success, and self-confidence certainly help, psychological performance coach Alok Trivedi argues that you must first stop negative thought patterns and behaviors in order to find true happiness. Founder of the Aligned Performance Institute and author of Chasing Success, Trivedi has dedicated his career to expanding human awareness and helping people reach their full potential. In his own words, here's what he believes you must stop doing in order to find genuine happiness and fulfillment.
Stop Living for Others
“Forget what your parents want you to do. Don’t think about what direction your teachers pointed you in. Don’t worry about other people’s version of the America dream. What do you want to be doing? What will make you happy? Focus on this because until you honor yourself first. You can’t make an impact on the rest of the world.”
“It’s easy to look around at your friends, neighbors, and other people your age … [but] that only makes you focus on what they are doing instead of what you need to be doing. This is a losing proposition because there will always be someone who is smarter, stronger, or more advanced in [their] career. The only person you need to be concerned with is you.”
“Stop telling yourself that ‘things will be better when’ you make more money, get the promotion, have a bigger house, have nicer clothes, or anything else. It’s a fantasy rooted in psychological delusion and simply an excuse to not deal with your present situation. These things might bring forms of happiness, but they don’t solve your problems or change who you are.”
Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy
“Oftentimes, the only person holding you back from happiness is you. It sounds backward, but it’s true. If you’re easily held back by negative thoughts like I’m not good enough to get it and I don’t deserve it, then it’s never going to happen. The first rule to getting what you want out of life is to believe in yourself.”
Stop Being Unappreciative
“One of the best ways to be happy: Show gratitude. When you live in a state of gratefulness, you are going to be happier. Gratitude brings better sleep, more self-esteem and confidence, makes us feel relaxed, intensifies our relationships, keeps us healthier, strengthens our emotional responses, and helps attract people our way. All of this leads to more happiness,” Trivedi says.
Pick up a copy of Chasing Success for more, and read up on why you should strive for self-acceptance instead of self-esteem next.