If you're looking for love, you already know that the search can, at times, feel daunting, hopeless, or too-good-to-be-true. Don't give up, though! Finding that one person who, after a while, you couldn't imagine your life without, is worth the trouble and time it can take to find them. Here's the thing, though: Some people get so excited at the prospect of falling in love that they call off the search too early, end up settling for someone who isn't right for them, or they let society's expectations drive their relationship's pace.
When it comes to finding yourself in a relationship that makes you wake up with a smile every day, following your heart and your own rules is key. It may happen quickly, or it might take a few years. Either way, if you avoid making these six classic mistakes when choosing a life partner, you'll end up with someone perfect for you.
You Jump Into a Relationship
If you are in the mindset of wanting to be in a committed relationship, be careful not to jump into something too soon—especially if someone seems too good to be true. For example: If, after a week, your potential partner is keen on introducing you to a few of their friends and makes plans on numerous occasions, it may be easy to think, "They wouldn't be putting in all of this effort if they weren't serious about a future with me, right?" Not necessarily.
In situations like that, try to take a step back and remind yourself that it's only been a short amount of time. Even if you've spent a lot of hours together over the course of a few days or weeks, you don't really know this person at their core, which probably means that it's too soon to commit seriously. Remember: There's no rush. Keep dating them and, in turn, getting to know them.
You Follow Societal Norms
People from past generations tend to push their thoughts, beliefs, and rules onto the younger generations, which, in some cases, helps us learn and grow, but in others, keeps us from progressing. Dating rules fall into the latter category. For instance, when your parents and grandparents were younger, they may have been married with children by the time they turned 30. However, things are definitely different now, and there's so much less pressure to get married or have babies at a specific time in our lives.
If you feel like you should be in a committed relationship by a specific age because that's what you were taught to do, try to forget that because forcing yourself to spend your life with whoever you're currently dating is not a recipe for lifelong happiness.
You Let Your Biological Clock Dictate Your Life
This goes hand-in-hand with doing what society expects of you—except there's one caveat: science. While it's true you can get married at any age, you can't always become pregnant and give birth at any age. If you want to be married and pregnant, you may feel a bit more pressure to be in a serious relationship in your 20s and 30s, but don't force yourself into a situation you may not be ready for because you think it's what you want.
If having children is extremely important to you, consider freezing your eggs, which takes some of the pressure off.
You're Romanticizing Romance
Love alone does not a marriage make. We hate to say it, but it's true. In order to find a life partner that you'll be as happy with on your first anniversary as you will be on your 30th anniversary, you'll need to be compatible in more ways than one. Be careful that you don't romanticize your relationship so much that you're blinded to the key differences that make be reasons you shouldn't be together until death do you part.
It's hard to push fear to the side when you're making major decisions that impact your future. When it comes to dating, it's especially challenging. If you're afraid of being alone, an older parent, or the only single person in your friend group, remind yourself that your single status is temporary and shouldn't affect relationship decisions. If you end up with an average person because that seems better than being single, you're not exactly setting the stage for a healthy relationship. Instead, hold out for someone you could love and be happy with.
You're Easily Influenced
If you're dating someone who your friends and family adore, that doesn't mean they're right for you. Sure, it helps, but keep in mind that your friends and family aren't the ones who wake up and fall asleep next to the person they want you to be with; you are. If you don't feel as excited about your partner as the people in your life do, maybe you should consider finding someone you are pumped about. Chances are, if you're in love, your friends and family will love them too.