End a First Date the Right Way With These 3 Tips

Updated 03/30/19
Credit: Petri Oeschger. Getty Images

Going on a first date can be exciting and nerve-wracking all at once. Will the two of you hit it off? Will you have a lot in common? Will the conversation flow? While you may be spending all of your time and energy thinking about how you should act when you're on the date itself, it's just as important to focus your attention on how to end the first date. After all, you may leave the date truly wanting to see this person again, and the best way to self-sabotage would be to send the wrong signals.

No matter how the date turns out, it’s important to understand how to end a first date the right way so that you’re being your best self—even if it was the best or the worst first date that you’ve ever had in your life.

Show Gratitude 

If you want to win big points when you end a first date, as well as do the right and polite thing, you should always remember to say, “thank you.” It may be that they paid for your meal or drinks, and you are thanking them for picking up the tab. Your gratitude can extend beyond a financial dependence, though. You could be thanking them for their time, especially if they had to drive across town or struggled with parking. Gratitude goes a long way, whether the date was good or bad.

The bottom line is that ending a first date by thanking this person for coming and meeting up with you is a simple gesture that can go a long way. Even if you don’t want to see this person again, or if you had a frustrating day prior to the date, or if you simply don’t care about the impression you make, it's always a good idea to be well-mannered. You may not fall in love at first sight, but it is just as important not to give anyone reason to hate you after you go because you were rude. 

Try to Set Up the Time for the Next Date

Another important tip when ending a first date is to try and lock down the second date before you leave. While you may be used to speaking in generalities with phrases such as, “We should do this again sometime,” or “It’d be fun to meet up again at some point,” you shouldn’t hesitate to take it a step further and get into specifics regarding your next date.

It goes without saying that you should ask for another date if you especially liked the other person, but this technique can also be a helpful indicator regarding your date’s feelings for you. For example, if he or she is eager to see you again, then you are more likely to leave a first date with concrete plans already in place regarding your next hang out session. On the other hand, if he or she is unsure, keeps it vague, or is flat-out uninterested, this can help you to decipher if it is worth investing more time in them in the future.

While there are cases when someone will make plans with you only to cancel them later in the hopes of avoiding any awkwardness, it still works in your favor to try and set something up before you go your separate ways. 

Be Kind

Speaking of not wanting to see your date again, it’s always in your best interest to be kind and respectful when ending a first date. Even if you had a terrible time, were counting down the minutes until the date ended, and would have loved to tell your date exactly how you felt, it’s still better to put your best self forward and act in a kindhearted way. 

There is a certain amount of benefit of the doubt that you have to give someone, especially if this was a blind date or set up via the internet or an app. Your inclination may be to point out that they do not look like their profile pictures, or that they come off as conceited, or that they are simply boring, but instead you should always opt for maturity. You can end the date by saying, “Take care,” rather than saying, “Take a hike!” 

It's also important that you don't lead someone on and give false hope. For example, while he or she may want to set up a specific time and location for the next date, it's unkind to make specific plans and then cancel them later. When it comes to dating, it's important to follow the golden rule and treat others how you'd like to be treated. 

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