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After the tingly thrills of a new relationship wear off, you might be left wondering why you don’t feel as into your partner as you once did. The good news is that you can get that feeling back. “Relationships grow stale generally because the couple avoids confronting the issue,” says Franklin Porter, Ph.D., a psychotherapist in New York. According to Women’s Health, falling in love or back in love are intentional acts. Here’s how to rekindle the romance.
Spend less time together.
What? You feel like you might be growing apart and the answer is to spend more time apart? Stephen Snyder, MD, sex and relationship therapist and author of Love Worth Making, says yes. “Once you’ve become a couple, the next big risk is to become two separate people. It can be quite relationship-enhancing when you pursue a passion that your partner has no interest in. This gives your partner a chance to see you as ‘other.’” Think about barre classes, weekly brunches with your friends, you name it.
When was the last time you listened to your partner (without throwing your two cents in)? “Spend some time talking together in a different way,” Snyder tells the magazine. “One talks, the other just listens. As the listener, see if you can stop yourself as much as possible from merely formulating your own responses. Instead, just listen.” It may feel a little strange at first, but that means you’re doing it right, says Snyder.
Surprise each other.
Instead of vanilla movie nights, take turns plotting surprise date nights for each other. That way, you both get to take part in the surprise and get excited about planning something special. Win-win.