Like anything worth participating in, relationships—no matter how perfect they seem—can have their fair share of ups and downs. If, for the most part, you feel happy and loved in your relationship (and make your partner feel the same), having an argument here and there is nothing to worry about. However, at some point, you may be faced with having to take a closer look at your connection with your partner. Analyzing the good and the bad will help you figure out if you're heading for a breakup and how to cope afterward. While you may deeply care about your partner, staying together may not be the best choice for either of you. But because you've been so emotionally invested in your relationship for so long, you may subconsciously turn a blind eye to the problems that pop up more often than they used to. If you're unsure about what to do, look for these six key signs that your relationship is over.
There's No Emotional Connection
One of the key signs that your relationship is over is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of any happy and healthy relationship is that you and your partner share thoughts and opinions with one another and truly open yourselves up to each other. However, if you're not interested in connecting with your partner on a deeper emotional level and no longer want to take the time to share what's truly on your mind, it's time to consider that your relationship may over.
Licensed counselor Dr. Degges-White notes on Psychology Today, "A lot of us want to snap at our partners because we’re ticked off about something else entirely—we choose partners and families as our 'safe spaces' to take out our 'not-so-pretty' feelings."
Physical Intimacy Doesn't Appeal to You Anymore
If you were sexually passionate about each other in the beginning and that passion has deflated to a point where you're no longer interested in sex with your partner, that could be a problem for your relationship.
A lack of sexual interest is often a reflection of the health and potential longevity of your relationship. In some relationships that are on the verge of ending, sex is usually the first of many soon-to-be connections.
It's Hard to Agree on Anything
Another telltale sign that your relationship may be headed for its end is that you and your partner can't see eye-to-eye on just about anything anymore, whether you're trying to decide if you should buy or lease a car, what color to paint the bathroom, or which restaurant to go to for dinner.
That constant disagreeing can lead to anger on both sides. "We hide deeper feelings (from ourselves and from others) with more socially acceptable negative attitudes sometimes, and when we find ourselves behaving in ways that aren’t the typical way we behave, we might need to do a little soul-searching to get a clearer picture of where our attitude is coming from," Dr. Degges-White says. When all you can agree on is that you can't agree on anything, this is a big indicator that your relationship is over.
Someone Else Seems More Appealing
In the beginning of so many relationships, you probably find yourself wanting to spend all of your time with your partner. However, towards the end, you may long to be with a person other than your partner. Whether you find yourself wishing you were still with your ex, have an intense crush on someone from work, or are fixated on the idea of having fantasies with someone who isn't your current partner, it's time to recognize that your relationship is probably finished.
Sexual fantasies about others are totally fine if they are enhancing your sexual connection with your partner, but if they minimize the importance or presence of your partner in your own sex life, that could create a problem.
We hide deeper feelings (from ourselves and from others) with more socially acceptable negative attitudes sometimes, and when we find ourselves behaving in ways that aren’t the typical way we behave, we might need to do a little soul-searching to get a clearer picture of where our attitude is coming from.
You may even be engaging in an emotional affair and are focusing your time and attention on someone else. When your partner is no longer a top priority and you're constantly fantasizing about being with another person, the next best step is to have a discussion about breaking up.
The Trust Is Gone
Whether he betrayed your trust in the past and had an affair, or she never keeps her promises, the word that should come to mind is, "breakup." When you can't trust the person who's supposed to be your in your corner, it's a major roadblock that is going to prevent you from having a deep and meaningful connection with them
Your Goals Don't Align
Another clear sign that it's time to part ways is that you don't want the same things going forward. For example, if you desire to have children one day, but your partner never sees kids in his or her future, this major difference will inevitably cause your relationship to fail. "When your goals don't match up and your visions of the future don't align, your relationship has actually reached the finished line.