It’s no secret that intimacy is a core ingredient to any lasting relationship, a time to connect, and rekindle the initial spark that helped start your relationship. But another common tale, is how quickly intimacy between couples can become almost non-existent once children (on top of already demanding work and life schedules) enter the family portrait. But according to mum, and INF Network member, Rebecca Jobson, keeping intimacy alive with a baby is possible, it just takes a little extra work.
Jobson says, "Life is overwhelming when you become a parent. No longer do you lead the solo, selfish life you once did when you could do whatever you wanted whenever you wanted. It's quite normal for parents to forget about their own lives after spending all their time doing things for their kids, as well as going back to work, cleaning, cooking, staying fit, running errands and having your own social life. Passion and intimacy should be kept a priority in your life." Read on to see the five unique ways Jobson maintains the intimacy in her own relationship.
#1 : START WITH SELF-LOVE
"Intimacy with your partner is always best when you're feeling good about yourself. There’s nothing sexier than a woman with confidence and it’s no surprise that it’s more fun for anyone involved when there are no insecurities getting in the way. This includes a whole range of things from a total lifestyle overhaul—eating well, working out and eliminating stress. Or it could even be something as small as a new set of lingerie, getting your hair done, or sporting a new signature scent that you know is going to drive your partner wild.
Self-love is so important, as you are such a role model to your children so if they see you looking after yourself, they are going to follow in your footsteps. A healthier, happier mum from the inside out boosts moods, elevates energy levels and leads to a sexier, happier you! Also practising things such as yoga and meditation opens your mind and frees space for you to connect with yourself on a deeper level and get back to your pre-baby-brain era. The more you feel yourself, the more room you have to spend quality time with your partner and discuss real things apart from speaking about your children all day long."
#2 : Prioritise Passion
"So what if that load of washing needs to wait until tomorrow in order for you to have a little alone time with your partner while the kids sleep? I'd much rather have a dirty dish laying around for a couple of extra hours then an unhappy relationship."
#3 : A sprint is just a good as a marathon
"I know that a lot of my girlfriends are overwhelmed by the thought of a long run in the bedroom considering we're all exhausted enough to begin with. Just a friendly reminder: Sometimes a sprint is just as good as a marathon. The thought of a cheeky little quickie is not only convenient but I think a little exciting when its sprung out of the blue."
#4 : Don't be afraid to ask for help
"We take on a lot as parents, and a lot of the time we take on a lot more than we can handle. Don't be afraid to ask for a helping hand, to have someone watch the kids for a night here or there, just so you can get a chance to have a date night with your partner. You deserve a chance to relax and breathe for a second and enjoy some quality time with your lover. Without this, I feel that life manages to get in the way, and a lot of the general frustrations are taken out on our partners as it’s common for the person closest to us to cop the brunt of a lot of our anger, even if it isn't particularly their fault. Get back to uninterrupted conversations and being able to laugh and remember why you fell in love with and started a family with this wonderful person to begin with!"
#5 : Get Creative
"Don't let the bedroom get boring. Mix it up every now and then and surprise him with a little massage, or an outfit, a sexy pair of lingerie or something that’s going to excite them. There's nothing appealing about stagnant intimacy that gets mundane and feels like Groundhog Day over and over again. Add a little spark to your bedroom fun, it keeps us young."