When it comes to finding love, you only have control over one thing: your actions. And believe it or not, what you do, say, and project can influence who you ultimately attract into your life, even if your relationship status is currently single. If your goal is to find a loving relationship that stands the test of time, psychologist, life coach, and author of Dating from the Inside Out, Paulette Kouffman Sherman, has a bit of advice: Create a life you love.
"In fairytales, meeting 'The One' is often the turning point from a perilous life to a happy one—finding a mate is a harbinger of happily ever after," she writes in an article for Mindbodygreen. "But in reality, it's best to already have a life you love and then start figuring out who'll complement it. It's attractive to have wonderful things to offer." So rather than sitting, waiting, and wishing for a partner to sweep you off your feet and make you feel whole, you're far better off working toward becoming the best version of yourself.
What's more, having this sense of identity separate from your partner will also pay dividends once your true love does come along. Relationship expert, professor, and therapist Terri Orbuch, PhD, regards this "me-time" as one of the most important elements of a successful relationship. "Many couples say that space or giving each other plenty of time for themselves is the single most important reason they think their relationship survived," she writes. "Partners who pursue their own hobbies, interests, and friends tend to be happier than those who depend on each other for everything."
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