How to Succeed at Sexting (Yes, There's a Formula)

Updated 05/30/17
how to sext

Sexting. You hear the word and it sounds, well, naughty. But the act of sending your S.O. hints at what might be to come later may have a very positive effect on your relationship. In fact, the activity is so popular that more than 87% of participants polled during a Drexel University study admitted to having participated in sexting at least once in their life. The study, entitled “Reframing Sexting as a Positive Relationship Behavior,” found that, in couples, “greater levels of sexting are associated with greater sexual satisfaction.”

The most important thing when it comes to sexting is that you’re with a partner you trust. (To protect yourself, never show your face in photos you send.) Beyond that, the act can be a ton of fun—even if you literally cannot stop blushing at first. And let’s be honest: It’s only natural to be a little nervous. To help you feel more comfortable sexting with your partner (especially if it’s the first time), we’ve rounded up some no-fail tips. Scroll down to see exactly how to sext.

Be yourself

We know—you hear this advice all the time, but it really is the key to most things. While sexting, stick to words and phrases you would normally use while you’re intimate, and you won’t be so uncomfortable. If you start throwing some crazy words in there, the whole “conversation” just won’t feel like you two as a couple.

Jog your partner’s memory

Completely unsure of how to start the sexting convo? That’s totally normal, trust us. A good way to get going is by recalling a raunchy memory of the two of you. Also, remember to ask questions to get your partner involved (and the use of an ellipsis—that “…”—once in a while never hurts).

Timing is key

If you can, sext your S.O. in the morning if you’re seeing them that night (or a few days before they are coming home from a trip or vacation). Sexting builds anticipation for what will come later, says sexologist Emily Morse. “Words are aphrodisiacs, and the scenarios you plant … can help mold the sex you have in the future,” she says.

Use emoji

So maybe one of you is a little shy… which is totally fine. If you have a hard time keeping up sexy banter but want something a little lower-key, try using emoji. In fact, you can even come up with your own little emoji language that only the two of you really understand. If you want to take it to the next level, copy and paste flirty, suggestive emoji from Flirtmoji (its crew of artists wants to ensure you’re not missing out on the fun).

Have fun

The whole point of sexting is for you and your partner to grow in your relationship—and have fun while doing so. Every activity is not for everyone, so if you’re not having fun or you’re uncomfortable, it may not be for you (which is totally all right). Remember that at the end of the day, it’s the communication you have face to face that’s most important.

Up next: how to spice up your relationship—and tell us what you think about the above in the comments.

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