How to Stop Pining for Someone

woman sitting looking out a window with a glass of wine

Lyuba Burakova / Stocksy

While falling in love with someone can feel especially wonderful and exciting, there are also times when it's necessary to stop loving someone—especially after a breakup. Since loving a person who doesn't return, your love can be highly painful, it's in your best interest to take steps to stop pining after this person. And while it may seem challenging, there are five key ways to put an end to these loving feelings and move on for good in every way.

1. Take Time to Grieve

When you want to stop loving someone, it's important to take the time you need to grieve about what has transpired between the two of you so that you can start the process of honestly moving on. Rather than pushing these feelings aside and refusing to acknowledge that you're upset or disappointed, you shouldn't be afraid to experience sadness and work your way through it in order to get to the next phase of acceptance. By actually feeling your emotions and giving yourself time to mourn and heal, you'll then be in a better position to move forward with your life without this person.

2. Cut Off Contact With This Person

If you want to stop loving someone, one of the best actions you can take is to try and limit your contact with him or her as much as possible. This means that you should stop texting goodnight, talking on the phone, and hanging out in person, since engaging with him or her will likely make it that much harder and more painful to end your loving feelings towards him or her. On the flip side, by limiting your contact and encounters with this person, this can help you to see your new life without him or her far more clearly and can help you find the strength you need to stop your feelings for good. This goes for social media as well, as seeing this person in photos and checking his or her status updates and posts are only going to make moving on more difficult.

3. Pursue Your Passions

Another way to stop loving someone is to spend your time following your own dreams and engaging in activities that you enjoy. For example, by taking a painting class, joining a running club, or volunteering at an animal shelter, you can occupy your time with something that you're passionate about rather than sitting at home and spending your time thinking about someone who doesn't love you back. By staying true to yourself and focusing on self-love and self-care rather than putting your attention on someone else, this can help you take steps toward falling out of love with this person.

4. Surround Yourself With People Who Bring You Joy

An additional way to stop loving someone is to spend your time with people who care deeply about you. Whether it's your friends, family, or other close confidants in your life, being with people who care about your well-being can help you to stop having feelings for someone who doesn't. For instance, after a bad breakup, rather than shutting others out and spending time in solitude, being with your friends and family can help bring back a sense of normalcy and can help empower you to get over this person and stop loving him or her.

5. Don't Hold On to False Hope

If you want to stop loving someone, it's in your best interest to stop clinging to the hope that he or she will return your love one day in the future. After all, if you keep thinking that this person is going to change his or her mind, come back to you, and rekindle your romance, it can be incredibly challenging to move on since you're still clinging to the idea of a life with this person. Rather than wishing and hoping that he or she will return your love one day, it's better and healthier for you to let go and recognize that you'll have love again in your life. In order for you to make room in your heart for someone else, it's important that you close the door on this chapter and look ahead toward a brighter and love-filled future with someone new. 

Related Stories