The way you decorate your home can say a lot about your personality and your unique sense of style. According to feng shui, it can also help you attract love. "There is most definitely a connection between your home and your love life," says Laura Benko, author of The Holistic Home and founder of The Holistic Home Company. Curious how to use feng shui for love? We rounded up the best advice from Benko and other feng shui experts to show you how rearranging the furniture and rethinking décor choices can lead to romance.
Make Room for Red
If you still can't get yourself to incorporate pink, consider pops of red—another color associated with love, relationships, and passion in feng shui. Since it's a strong color, just be mindful not to overdo it. "Too much red can lead to aggression and anger. Start gradually and sit with it before adding more," Benko says.
Not sure where to start? Benko recommends picking colors that make you feel best. You can also set an intention that you are adding whatever color you choose to bring love into your life.
"When it comes down to it, manifesting powerful results comes from within while knowing that you are creating an environment that is congruent with your specific needs and goals," Benko says.
If you are single and hoping to be in a relationship, Benko suggests taking a good look at your current décor and identifying areas in which your singleness is visible in your home. "A single chair, artwork featuring just one person, lone collectibles or singular imagery all promote the energy of one," Benko explains. In order to combat these subconscious single reinforcers, she recommends pairing things up. Replace a single painting with a diptych and move your furniture so that your chairs sit side by side.
Comfort Is Key
Particularly for the bedroom, comfort is key. Benko suggests investing in luxury sheets that you change out regularly. Fresh sheets are always an incentive to spend more time in bed. Some say colors such as white, bright green, or pink can help heat up a relationship.
It's also helpful to rid the space of exercise equipment and clutter, as these reminders of what you haven't done "can ruin the vibe," according to Benko. Instead of to-do lists and unopened mail, fill your bedroom with soothing artwork and use aromatherapy sprays or candles to make sure the space always smells lovely.
Get Rid of the Fluff
Some experts classify an excess of pillows and stuffed animals around the bed as clutter that sends the wrong message to a potential partner. These can communicate that there's no room for someone else in your life. Furthermore, stuffed animals could even subliminally communicate that you're not ready for an adult relationship.
Benko also believes that it is necessary to physically make room for a partner in your life. "Make space in your closet, your medicine cabinet, your refrigerator—create an environment where even a prospective suitor coming into your home would feel like metaphorically and physically there is room for them in your life."
In order to use your bedroom furniture to attract love, it's best to arrange your bed in what Benko calls the commanding position. "Position your bed so that you can see the entrance when you are lying in the bed, but not in direct alignment with the door," she says This arrangement can subconsciously boost your confidence because you're able to see who is entering your space without feeling startled or vulnerable. "Confidence in the bedroom is a game-changer."
Declutter and Cleanse
In the same way that certain items can attract love, others can inhibit it. "Be sure to rid your home of items that keep you stuck in the past," Benko says. That means it's time to toss any old memorabilia from an ex that no longer serves you. Think of this as an emotional cleanse. Benko also suggests removing anything broken or lifeless from your home, and don't hang on to items that you can't use anymore.
Let Things Blossom
One of the easiest ways to spruce up your home and bedroom is with live plants or a bouquet of fresh flowers. Always replace dried flowers with fresh new ones. Bringing new life into your home will immediately boost the chi (or energy). Fresh flowers make your space smell divine, and plants provide a myriad of health benefits, from improving air quality to boosting your immune system and mental health. Think of it this way: Life inside your home will attract more life inside your home.
Keep the Fire Alive
"Fire is an element in feng shui that helps instigate the spark in a new relationship or keep the love burning in a current one," Benko explains. You can bring this element into your home in a few different ways. Quite literally, a fireplace or a burning candle can be used to attract love. You can also incorporate the color red into a space with accent pieces like a throw blanket, rug, painting, or red wall. The only thing to remember is that there should be a balance. "Make sure you don't go overboard," says Benko.
Artwork and creative expression in the home has always been considered one of the many love cures, according to feng shui. Be thoughtful in selecting art that you genuinely enjoy. For your bedroom, it's best to invest in pieces that feel soothing to you. Also, remember it can be helpful to reinforce the idea of pairs through your décor.
Keep It "Scentsual"
Everyone knows smell is one of the most powerful sensory experiences that instantly transports one to a positive or negative state of mind. Incorporating the power of aromatherapy is just one more way to create an inviting environment for romance in your life.
Mind Your Headboard
Any furniture pieces that are built to support you are very important in feng shui. It's common sense that if these pieces are not sturdy, or worse, totally absent, you won't feel supported. This is especially true of your headboard when it comes to love and romance. According to feng shui expert Nicolette Vajtay, "Without a headboard, the ability to create mastery of life, which is represented by the master bedroom, is leaking all over the place. With a headboard, you have the necessary backing and support to create a stable, happy, healthy career and marriage." She advises that wood is best and fabric is fine if securely attached to the bed. Avoid metal or a headboard with slats.
Crystallize Your Desires
Many believe that crystals reflect and amplify energy, so it's no surprise they play a role in feng shui. Experts recommend hanging a small crystal sphere from a silver thread directly inside your bedroom door to strengthen and improve your relationships.
Setting the right mood for romance is crucial in the bedroom. Lighting can make or break this, so you may want to invest in dimmers or incandescent bulbs. Select a palette of mostly calm, soothing colors as opposed to bold or bright ones. A few bright accents are fine, but you want the general tone of your bedroom to feel peaceful. This is not only ideal for sleep, but also ideal for inviting healthy relationships into your life.
Yin and Yang
When it comes to creating your environment, it's essential to strive for a balance of energies through your décor choices. "If your bedroom is too frilly and delicate—or on the opposite spectrum, very dark, masculine, and septic—it's important that you find a balance in the middle so it's comfortable and balanced for both energies, regardless of the genders that dwell there," Benko explains.
The essence of feng shui is about balancing energy within a space. So consider the layout of your bed and the space around it if you're looking for love. Feng shui consultant Ken Lauher says, "There should be room to approach your bed from either side; don’t position it with one side against the wall. Don't have only one nightstand. You should have two nightstands, as well as two lamps."
Claudio L. Planting Healthier Indoor Air. Environ Health Perspect. 2011;119(10):A426-7. doi:10.1289/ehp.119-a426