She's fierce, bold, effervescent, and charismatic on stage and through the filter of social media, but the talented singer/songwriter and new mom Kelly Rowland is just like you and me. I know at first read that seems implausible, but in our exclusive chat, she revealed that she too has experienced moments of self-doubt and setbacks. But it's through these she has learned to master resilience and summon the inner strength to keep going even when it seems impossible.
"Throughout my career, there have been moments where I needed to reach within myself to find the power to stick with it," she told MyDomaine. "Years ago, I was in the studio with a great record in my possession, and I knew it was a hit, but the team I was with at the time didn't agree. I had to search deep within myself to do what I felt was right, so I made a major decision and changed teams. The record was a success."
Making such a career-changing decision like this takes courage and confidence in your ability and trusting your gut, which we all know is never easy. It's humbling to know that even the rich and famous have to face these daily hurdles and confront their fears like the rest of us. It's doing it that's the hard part. To encourage all of us to "stick with it," Rowland teamed up with Band-Aid and its campaign of the same name to celebrate the tries, not just the triumphs.
Rowland loved the message that strength comes from getting back up after the fall. "I can relate on so many levels," she explains. "For me, there have been moments in my career (and in my daily life) where I really needed to find the power to stick with it. And because of those moments and setbacks, I am now stronger, and they've shown me where I needed to focus and work harder."
In this exclusive chat, Rowland shares some of her life lessons, how she's teaching her young son, Titan, resilience, and what other new moms can do for themselves every day to keep going even in the toughest moments.
Encourage Your Kids to Get Back Up When They're Knocked Down
"My son is a toddler, so he experiences new things every day. Recently, he was at school and hopped on a bicycle. He then got frustrated because he could not actually make the wheels turn. I looked at him and said, "You can do it, baby." It seemed like he thought that if I thought he could do it, then he could. He then got out of his defeated mindset and figured out a way to push the pedals on his own."
Learn From Your Mistakes, and Trust Your Gut
"I do not necessarily like to say 'mistakes.' I think the only thing I could have done more in the past, that I'm exercising more now, is listen to my gut. Sometimes you have to stop and have a self-analysis. You know best, especially when you're in tune with yourself. Your willpower takes you to the next level."
See Life Through Your Children's Eyes
"I am now experiencing life again through his eyes. I would think it was cliché or corny for people to say this (before now). To watch him notice little things in life, like a rainbow or a seal, and the excitement you see in his eyes make me happy. The way children live is the way we should live every day. It's a blessing to wake up every morning. There are people who did not wake up this morning."
Try for Balance, But Don't Get Hung Up on It
"I'm still learning balance. I do believe in balance and in having time for myself, my husband, my child, and my girlfriends. Having time to perfect yourself is important as well. You make time for the things you want to make time for."
"He has taught me that life is precious and a gift. Not that I didn't before, but you should not take anything for granted. I just have a different perspective now."
Relish in the Surprises of Motherhood
"I had no idea how much I could actually worry about a human being. I had no idea this amount of love for someone existed. The best thing about being a mom is that it feels like Christmas every time I see him. I feel like I get a special surprise every day."
Give Yourself a Pep Talk
"There is one thing I think every mom should do because we are women and mothers. Our first instinct is to care for our children and other people. I encourage every mother, if you have four minutes and not five, if you have 10, I salute, if you have an hour, I'm kissing your feet. If you have a moment in the day that you can have a moment of gratitude, tell yourself you're doing a great job, or for prayer, do it. No one will pour into you like you would pour into you."
Don't Compare Yourself to Other Moms
"I am still learning how to balance. I'm still learning that I am not checking every box every day. We have this great expectation on what a great mother should be on TV. We just saw them come home and be with their kids and husbands. In real life, we have to understand that we will not get it right every day. The moments that we do get it right, we should pat ourselves on the back. When you see your child developing well, that means you're doing a great job."
"Mentally healthy, I believe in communication. I believe in communicating with Titan on everything. Physically, he is obsessed with water. He has his vitamins, his time outside, playing with friends and other kids (to stay healthy)."