While you may be head over heels with your partner, your friends, on the other hand, may not be feeling the love. While you may think your partner’s the funniest person you’ve ever met, your friends might think that their jokes fall flat. Or maybe you find your S.O.'s stories amusing and engaging, but your friends are always put off by their need to take over the conversation. Whatever the reason might be that's causing your friends to dislike your partner, it's definitely frustrating, and probably has you second-guessing literally everything. While you value your friends’ opinions, you also place value on your relationship with your partner and your future together. Fortunately, there are a few key steps you can take when your friends don't like your partner to help bridge the gap.
Read on for six steps to take when your friends don't like your partner.
Hear Your Friends Out
First up, it’s important to listen to what your friends have to say. Rather than dismissing their feelings outright and refusing to give them a chance to speak their minds, have a mature, face-to-face conversation where they can express their feelings. You don't have to agree with them, but you should give them the ability to voice their concerns. "We may like to think that our feelings for our partners are the only ones we need to consider, but the truth is that our romantic connections are embedded within our broader social lives," says Erica B Slotter, Ph.D.
Take To Heart What Your Friends Say
When you actually have this conversation with your friends, truly listen to what they have to say. Know that they have your best interest in mind and only want you to be happy. If your friends tell you that they don’t like the way that your partner bosses you around, always complains, or is rude to them, you should take to heart what they say and try to be truly objective about it. Don't automatically take your partner's side—consider that what they have to say might actually be valid.
After you listen to what your friends have to say, pay a bit more attention when you interact with your partner. While you may not have noticed that your partner tends to interrupt those around them or that they constantly use inappropriate language, you can now be more conscious of their behavior and see if your friends have a valid concern.
Understand What You Can and Can't Change
When your friends tell you why they don’t like your partner, it’s important that you differentiate between what’s a potentially fixable issue and what’s not. If your friends hate the way that your partner is always on their phone when you’re hanging out as a group, you can give your partner a heads up to hold off on checking emails when you’re all together. If your friends’ concerns are based on unchangeable issues, however, such as they don’t think that your partner’s good enough for you or they don’t agree with their life goals, you'll have to decide if you agree with their concerns or want to move forward in the relationship despite them.
Create More Chances for Everyone To Hang Out
While it may sound counterintuitive, it’s actually in your best interest to set up times for everyone to spend more time together. By doing so, you can help your friends see the side of your partner that you see, and you can help to maybe change their concerns and break down their misconceptions. Your friends may think negatively about your partner only because they haven’t had enough opportunities to really get to know them in a deeper way.
Do What's Best for You
If your friends still don't like your partner even after trying to bridge the gap between them, it's entirely up to you how you want to proceed. You’re the one in the relationship, and it’s up to you to ultimately decide whether or not you want to be with your partner. Always trust your instincts.