Will Infidelity Break Your Marriage Beyond Repair?
Infidelity leads to divorce and is probably the single most damaging thing that can happen to a marriage. Unfortunately, it is also one of the most common problems a married couple will face. Statistics vary on this subject, but it's widely reported that 60% of men and 40% of women will participate in an extramarital affair at some point during their married life.
If you are experiencing infidelity in your marriage, all the statistics in the world probably mean nothing. Right now, all you can think about is the way infidelity is affecting you. You are likely experiencing a wide range of emotions and, you might fear that you are losing your sanity because of the deep, negative, emotional impact of infidelity.
It’s the depth of betrayal and emotional pain that often leads to divorce after infidelity. Such negative emotions are hard to put behind you and many people feel there is no way to rebuild trust in the marriage.
If you have found yourself in this situation, take heart, your negative emotions will eventually fade and your life will resume as normal again. If, for that to happen, you need to divorce, then you are among the majority. That is exactly how most people deal with infidelity in their marriages.
Below Are 3 Reasons Infidelity Leads To Divorce:
1. Denial of The Problem:
This is a very normal first reaction, and most of people will spend some time simply refusing to believe that their spouse is involved with someone else, no matter how compelling the evidence may be. However, try to be honest with yourself, accept what has happened. Only through honesty and clarity can you get through this, no matter what ultimately happens with your marriage.
Infidelity is usually the result of problems in the marriage. If you can't accept your spouse's infidelity, you are left with more problems that you started with. You have to be able to deal, in a healthy manner, with the cheating and the problems that lead to the cheating.
2. Inappropriately Expressed Anger:
You will find yourself experiencing anger you didn’t know you were capable of feeling. An affair attacks the very foundation of our day-to-day life, robbing us of our security, violating the vows we took when we married, and stripping away all the peace of mind we get from being married.
It is normal to feel anger at your spouse and at the affair partner who has invaded your marriage. Nevertheless, this is also one of the more destructive emotions you'll be working through, so it is important to try and keep it under control. Whether you want to save your marriage or move on via divorce, anger expressed in a negative manner will keep you from doing either.
Learn how to use the anger you feel in a constructive manner. It is a powerful emotion, but that vulnerable power can be re-focused on helping to heal.
3. Feelings of Rejection:
It's impossible to not feel personally rejected when you find that your spouse has replaced you with another. Your self-esteem will probably hit an all time low before you recover. Turn to your friends and family for strength. And, without a doubt, you should not define your desirability based on the fact your spouse cheated.
Try to surround yourself with those people who love and respect you, draw strength from their feelings towards you, and try not to allow yourself to believe you are unworthy of love just because of the actions of your spouse. Try to understand that your spouse took the actions they did because they are struggling to solve their own personal problems. It is not necessarily your fault, and you are no less a person because your spouse committed adultery.
Everyone will experience the unfaithfulness of a spouse differently. This list, though it isn’t complete, is a starting place and will help you understand some of the emotions you are feeling. It’s important to know that your reaction to infidelity is normal and to understand that you may feel different emotions at different times.
If you decide to divorce, the range of emotions you feel will become wider. Therefore, it is imperative that you develop good coping skills to get you through not only the infidelity but also the impending divorce process.