Entering into a brand new relationship after you've been through a divorce can be both an intimidating and exciting new chapter in your life. While dating and meeting new people is one thing, getting remarried after a divorce can feel like a lofty decision.
With more life experience under your belt and a real understanding of how a marriage can run its course, you likely won't be jumping into another long-term commitment with the same enthusiasm you may have in the past—and that's okay. In fact, your unique experiences give you an advantage this time around. Perhaps you know more about what kind of a relationship works for you and what kind doesn't. You also might have a clearer understanding of your boundaries and the level of independence you want to maintain.
If you're thinking of giving marriage another try, you may want to reflect on your reasons for doing so in order to make a decision that's right for you after divorce.
1. You’ve Fallen in Love
While falling in love with someone new is a noble reason to consider remarrying after divorce, it needs to be love that stands the test of time. Remarry because your love has been proven, has withstood the ups and downs that come along with life, and makes you truly happy. In other words, test it before you bet the rest of your life on it.
2. You Don't Need to, But You Want to
When you’ve completely healed from your divorce, you won't think of remarriage as something you “need” to do for financial security or stability, but it will be something you “want” to do because you're in love and want to spend the rest of your life with someone. When you can live happily while single and on your own, you will be able to live happily as a couple with someone you love. You won't need that person to take care of you or your emotional needs, but you will want to share the happy life you’ve built with your new love.
3. You Are Able to Give and Receive
Before you can remarry after divorce, make sure you are able to take care of not only yourself but also the other person. Marriage is a give and take and you'll want to be willing to give whatever is needed. And, in return, you'll be able to appreciate what is given to you.
4. You Feel More Than Lust
Sex may be important to you and your relationship, but there needs to be more than lust to make a long-term commitment work. Your S.O. may really get your motor humming but ask yourself how comfortable you are with this person on a daily basis. How well do the two of you work through conflict? The ability to resolve a dispute far outweighs the ability to enjoy each other in the bedroom when it comes to determining how successful a marriage will be.
5. Your Finances Are Compatible
Having different financial situations is no reason to leave a relationship, but knowing and understanding your partner's finances before you remarry is important.
Make sure to ask the tough questions regarding:
- Credit history
- Child support
When all this is considered and you both feel comfortable, that's one less thing to worry about down the line.
6. Your Friends and Family Like Your New Love
If you're possibly wearing rose-colored glasses, it's important to do your best to put your feelings aside and pay attention to how the people you're closest with feel about your significant other. If they have doubts, it may be time to take a step back. But if they approve, you're probably on the right track.