There are times when an ex will come back into your life, and you may be wondering if you should give your relationship with this person another try. After all, you did have strong feelings for one another in the past, so it’s not unreasonable to think that you’d be able to make it as a couple this time around.
However, if you’re contemplating jumping back into a relationship with an ex, there are six key points to keep in mind before your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend becomes your next boyfriend or girlfriend.
Get Real About Why You Broke Up
If you’re serious about starting a serious relationship again with your ex, it’s important that you’re honest with each other about why you broke up in the first place. For instance, if you ended your relationship because you felt that your partner didn’t make you a priority, but you never fully expressed these feelings to him or her, your renewed relationship with this person will not be any different. Instead, you should let your ex know exactly why you felt that your relationship went south so that you can work together to directly avoid these same problems in the future.
Discuss How You'd Like Things to Improve
Along these lines, before you get back together with an ex, it’s also important that you openly and candidly discuss how you’d like your relationship to change for the better this time around. For example, if your job prevented you from spending quality time with your partner, tell him or her how you plan to remedy this situation going forward. Or if your partner’s inherent need to be on his or her phone always bothered you, call him or her out on this issue now so that these same problems don’t pop up and derail your relationship yet again.
Make Sure There Are No Red Flags
If you’re considering getting back together with an ex, it’s imperative that you don’t overlook any possible red flags that may have been present the first time around. For example, if your ex was physically and/or emotionally abusive; acted in a controlling, possessive, or jealous way; and/or disrespected you at all, then he or she certainly isn’t worth reconciling with and frankly isn’t worth your time. Remember, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, and if your partner wronged you before, you’re wrong to think that it won’t happen again.
Be Honest About Your Time Apart
In order to set the stage for a long-lasting relationship with a past partner, it’s important that you start your renewed relationship based on the complete truth. And that means being totally honest and forthright about how you spent your time when you were broken up. For instance, did you date other people? Were you in a serious relationship with someone else? Opting for openness will help you start your relationship out on the right foot.
Get Back Together for the Right Reasons
If you’re wondering if you should get back together with your ex, it’s also important that you fully understand your true motivations behind your desire to reconcile. For instance, if you’re getting back together because you haven’t found anyone else, you hate being single, and/or you feel pressured from your ex to take him or her back, these misguided reasons will likely lead to another breakup in the future. Instead, you should get back together with him or her because it’s something that you, and you alone, truly want to do.
You Believe That Your Relationship Has the Potential to Succeed
With this in mind, if you’re wondering if you should get back with an ex, it should be because you think that the two of you can have a healthy, happy and long-lasting relationship. After all, if your past relationship with your ex was so laden with problems and dysfunction that trying again seems hopeless right from the start, these negative thoughts and expectations will automatically lead to your relationship’s demise. However, when you feel as though your relationship has the true potential to prosper, getting back together with an ex can be an excellent choice.