Should You Date Your Best Friend?

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Many people in happy and healthy relationships consider their partner to be their best friend. After all, they enjoy spending time together, they trust each other deeply, and they have each other’s backs. So if you’re trying to determine if dating your best friend is the right decision for you, it’s important to understand the key advantages and disadvantages in order to determine if you should transition from friends to lovers.

Advantage #1. You Already Have a Strong Foundation with This Person

If you’re thinking about dating your best friend, one of the major pros is that you already know each other well. Specifically, you’re already familiar with what activities both of you are passionate about, you know about each other’s hopes and dreams and perhaps you even know each other’s families. And rather than starting out a relationship with someone and not knowing much about him or her, you can begin to build your romantic relationship with your best friend upon the strong foundation that you’ve already created with one another.  

Advantage #2. You Know About Each Other’s Relationship History

Along these lines, another major advantage of dating your best friend is that you already know about his or her past, and he or she already knows about yours as well. In fact, not only does this kind of insight help to bring you closer as a couple, since you both know what each other has already been through, but in many cases, you can also understand each other on a deeper level because you were by each other’s sides for much of it.

Advantage #3. You’re Starting from a Place of Trust

Another benefit of dating your best friend is that you already completely trust this person. And since trust is a cornerstone of a successful and long-lasting relationship, having this trust already embedded in a romantic relationship will make it that much easier for you to make it as a couple. After all, if you can’t trust your partner, you can trust the fact that your relationship isn’t going to last. Having strong trust already established at the beginning of a romantic relationship is a major plus.

Disadvantage #1. You Risk Losing Your Best Friend

On the flip side, one of the major cons of dating your best friend is that you may end up losing this person if things don’t work out. After all, there are no guarantees when it comes to relationships, and it’s possible that your romantic connection may end up disconnecting. With this in mind, there’s a risk that you may end up losing this person as a partner as well as a best friend, since continuing a strong friendship after a relationship has ended isn’t always an option.  

Disadvantage #2. You Don’t Have a Blank Slate with Him or Her

A potential disadvantage of dating your best friend is that both of you are entering the relationship with preconceived notions about each other, both good and bad. In other words, when you start a relationship with someone who’s entirely new to you, any transgressions or mistakes that you may have made in the past are wiped away—and the same goes for your partner. However, when you date your best friend, rather than starting out fresh, you’re beginning your relationship already knowing each other’s bad habits, destructive or annoying tendencies, and imperfections.  

Disadvantage #3. You No Longer Have This Person as a Relationship Sounding Board

If you date your best friend, it’s important to keep in mind that this person is no longer there for you solely in the friend capacity. And while you may have relied on this person as an important outlet and voice of reason during your previous relationships, you’re losing this important type of presence in your life when he or she becomes your partner. After all, complaining about your partner’s behavior to your best friend is a bit different when your best friend is your partner.

What’s the Best Decision for You?

When it comes to deciding whether or not you should date your best friend, the bottom line is that you have to do what’s best for you. If you’re going to regret not taking this kind of step with him or her and will always end up wondering what could have been, then it’s in your best interest to date this person. However, if you know in your heart that you don’t want to risk putting your friendship on the line, do yourself a favor and opt to stay in the friend zone.

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