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Since happy and healthy relationships are based on openness, honesty, mutual respect, and trust, it can be hard to understand and deal with emotionally unavailable men. If you're worried that your man might fall into this particular category, these five key signs can help you learn if he's someone who's truly emotionally unavailable.
1. He Doesn't Open Up to You
One of the most common signs is that he doesn't reveal or show his actual feelings around you. And while you may want him to open up and be able to express his emotions, he never lets down his guard around you to say what's really on his mind. For example, rather than confiding in you and talking about a bad day at the office or a disappointing night out with friends, he chooses to keep his feelings bottled up inside and not express to you what's he's actually thinking. And if your man is this complicated and hard to read, it's actually not hard to see that he's emotionally unavailable and detached.
2. He's Not Comfortable With Your Emotions
An emotionally unavailable man is also not receptive or supportive when you express your feelings to him. For example, if your man becomes uncomfortable, put off, frustrated, or withdrawn when you choose to open up and be vulnerable around him, this is an indicator that he's not good at handling emotions—both his as well as yours. In a deep, meaningful, and long-lasting relationship, you and your partner should lend an ear, a shoulder to cry on, and a helping hand, but if your man isn't willing or able to be there for you when you need him the most, this is a sign that you're with a guy who's emotionally unavailable.
3. His Past Remains a Mystery to You
This type of man is also hardly ever open, honest, and forthright with you about the happenings in his past. And while he certainly doesn't need to divulge every single detail about his relationship history and life story, it's important to keep in mind that having a strong relationship means that you and your partner openly share with one another and get to know each other on a deeper level. However, if he chooses to keep you completely in the dark about key details of his past, this can be a sign that he's emotionally cut off since he's refusing to let you know more about his life. When a man chooses to be a closed book, the writing is on the wall that he's emotionally unavailable to you.
4. He Often Resorts to Sarcasm
Have you noticed that he brushes everything off with a joke or sarcastic comment? Rather than expressing anger, fear, sadness, or disappointment, an emotionally unavailable man turns things into a joke in order to avoid dealing with raw emotions and to remain strong and unfazed in your eyes. For instance, even if your man is upset and hurt that he was passed over for a promotion, he'll somehow turn it into a joke and laugh it off in front of you so as to not actually have to process, deal with, and talk about what he's really feeling inside. When he uses sarcasm as a defense mechanism and resorts to laughter over honesty, it's clear that he's cutting himself off emotionally from you.
5. He's Slow to Commit to You
An emotionally unavailable man is typically not willing or able to truly commit to you and be loyal to you. This type of man will often want to keep things casual and undefined so as to not deal with any of the emotional components that go into a long-term relationship. Men who are emotionally unavailable will often jump from fling to fling because they don't have to fully invest more than what they're willing to or comfortable doing. If you'd like to take your relationship with a man to the next level but he wants to remain unattached, friends with benefits, or keep his options open, this can be a clear sign that he's emotionally unavailable.
Communicate with your guy to find out how he feels. Efficient communication will help you avoid wasting your time on someone who doesn't want the same things as you do.
6. He Chooses Physical Intimacy Over Emotional Intimacy
It's also quite common for this type of man to want to be physical with you before an emotional connection has been established. Emotionally unavailable men often choose physical intimacy over emotional intimacy so as to not have to deal with the messiness, seriousness, or complications that emotions can bring into a relationship. If he tends to transition into being physical with you amidst potentially deep, emotional, and personal conversations, it's clear that he's the kind of guy who's emotionally detached.