While your brain may desire a new partner, it's common for your heart to be held up by vestiges of relationships past. What's worse, it can be extremely difficult to tell whether or not your failed relationships are still affecting you, leaving you relatively clueless as to your emotional availability (or lack thereof). In an effort to clear a path for true love, relationship coach Vishnu Subramaniam recently outlined the common signs of emotional unavailability that may be hindering your chances of finding a partner. While he defines this avoidance as a "self-protective instinct," it's a clear sign that fear and resistance are guiding your search for a long-term partner. In his own words, here are five key warning signs to look out for:
"You have endless excuses about why someone isn't right for you. You focus on the many ways you're incompatible or not right for each other."
"You make judgments about people without getting to know them. You evaluate people based on stereotypes or preconceived notions."
"You replay the past in your mind over and over—it's like the fiery storm in your mind that holds you back and keeps you stuck."
"You refuse to show your vulnerabilities and share honestly about yourself, and you don't let others get to know the real you."
"You avoid dating because you're afraid to take a risk. It's easier to pass up on opportunities to meet new and different people than to take a risk and become disappointed again."
For more insight, take this 15-question test to see if you're ready to date again.