When was the last time you checked in with yourself about your goals, dreams, and desires? These ambitions often guide your decisions and keep you moving forward, but it's easy to feel stuck and lose track of where you were headed in the first place. "Think of your goals as strict, loving parents," says life advisor and relationship expert Suzannah Galland. "They should remind us of what we should be aiming for," she explains.
Whether you've lost sight of your goals or not, there's never a wrong time to take a step back and think about where you're at and where you want to go. "We should always be evaluating," Galland says. "My recommendation is to become a secret observer of yourself." While this might sound like a lofty task, Galland has a relatively simple process for checking in with yourself.
Start by becoming aware of your thoughts, beliefs, and the events around you. Then, begin to notice your internal dialogue by writing down the words you say or think to yourself. If the words you use are judgemental or distrusting, see if you can replace them with uplifting and empowering ones instead. Once you've evaluated how you see the world, you'll be better prepared to figure out what you need to keep, shift, or walk away from in other areas of life, according to Galland.
"Women are receptive by nature," according to Galland. "So when relationships go awry, we find ourselves sinking into oblivion." She explains that oftentimes when you have sex with someone you care about, you can carry their energy and issues around with you, which can lead to some pretty confusing feelings.
What exactly am I being seduced by?
What is my partner's number one desire?
How different is this from mine?
Is there an obsession at work here?
What is it we share?
What would make me feel more supported?
What action, be it a trip, an adventure, or a joint project might draw us together?
Galland recommends taking some time for yourself to meditate, enjoy a spa day, or simply breathe. Then start to observe whether you want the relationship to continue or end.
No matter what your job entails, it's all too easy to forget your priorities and settle, Galland explains. That's why it's essential to check in with yourself and make sure you haven't lost track of your professional goals.
What do I want?
What do I expect?
What are people demanding from me?
What is it that I most want to manifest in my career right now?
What will it take to materialize the position I want?
How many steps are there ahead of me?
How much money will I need?
Are there people who can help?
Who do I trust?
Get to know your own strengths. It's the key to taking control of your career, according to Galland. "If you find yourself lost for words, try honing in on the best things someone else has said about you," she suggests. "If you do this regularly, you will more steadily recognize your natural talents and others will start to acknowledge you, too."
When it comes to your mental health, Galland says there's only one question you really need to ask yourself to check in.
Does my life have meaning?
"Most of the time our mental health can deteriorate when we feel our life is meaningless," Galland explains. "Whereas, when your life has meaning, your world is alive with happiness and purpose." If you're feeling unfulfilled, she recommends honing in on your strengths rather than trying to identify what's wrong with you. "Look for one thing you like about yourself and acknowledge it. Say it out loud to your friends, neighbors, and anyone else who will listen… Now find another thing you like about yourself and do the same," she says.
"You heart is happiest when it's full of excitement," says Galland. That's why it's important to check in with yourself when it comes to fulfilling your passions.
What have I always wanted to do?
Where am I procrastinating?
What am I delaying?
Galland suggests writing down answers to these questions, then picking one statement that stands out to act on. "No matter how small, make your action a commitment to yourself," she says. Once you've figured out what you want to do, start sharing your dream with the people around you. This way, they'll be there to get excited with you and encourage you should you need it.
Next time you're feeling stuck, ask yourself these questions to figure out what changes you might consider making moving forward in order to achieve your dreams and meet your goals.
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