Divorce Brings Out the Worst in Us—5 Things To Expect From an Angry Ex

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Although emotions often run rampant during the divorce process, it's important to approach issues calmly and rationally (even in irrational situations), lest your divorce eat up even more of your time, money, and sanity. But even if you're managing to keep your cool, a disgruntled ex might be working overtime to upend that sense of composure and resort to the use of "dirty" tactics to win at all costs.

But while your ex's actions are out of your control, there's power in preparing yourself for the impending fight, especially when you know they're livid and your divorce is already contentious.

<<<In fact, there are actually some pretty common TKs that angry exes engage in have TK the typical punches an angry ex will likely pull and duly prepare for the wrath. some border on legality while others are subtler forms of manipulation

Below are some common tactics used by an angry spouse during the divorce process.>>>

Alleging Domestic Abuse 

Surprisingly enough, it's actually fairly common for one ex to file a restraining order against the other without cause. But let's be clear: Although it's illegal to make false accusations of abuse, vengeful exes will employ this tactic to gain sole legal custody of children and/or have the accused removed from the marital home. Prevent this from happening by refusing to engage in any form of conflict, whether by phone, email, and in-person. If it's too late for that, don't respond to the allegations in a manner that will make the situation worse. Although it's difficult to prove real cases of abuse, the courts must always operate with an abundance of caution—even with little evidence. <<TKTKTK take it in stride, knowing that name-calling or responding by a "tit-for-tat" mentality will only hurt your case. >>

Limiting Access To Marital Assets 

If you're, say, a stay-at-home mother and your ex was the breadwinner, they can exploit your financial dependence by using it against you. So before either of you actually file for divorce, be proactive by putting your name on all joint marital assets, including bank and credit card accounts and any retirement funds you expect to draw from.

If you believe an angry ex will drain your joint bank accounts (and neither party has yet filed for divorce), open a new account in your name and transfer adequate funds to live on. 

Delaying The Divorce Process

During the discovery process, your divorce attorney will request documents from your spouse related to income and assets. A spouse can stall the process by refusing to respond to such requests. Or they may send a barrage of requests to you attempting to bog you down in paperwork. This delaying tactic may continue right up to his refusing to sign the divorce papers (although it should be noted that you don't need his signature to get divorced). 

To protect yourself from a spouse who will stall and use the courts to abuse you, hire an attorney who will not hesitate to use the Family Court System to force a response when a spouse uses such tactics.

Reneging On Verbal Agreements

Most people going through the divorce process work to make sure it is not riddled with conflict. In doing so they can make the mistake of believing that their spouse will stand by their verbal agreements. It is much safer to have a legal document drawn up and signed by both spouses and their attorneys, just to cover yourself.

Such a document can be used in court to prove a spouse’s intent to take part in a verbal agreement. If push comes to shove, you will have evidence that can be used as proof that your ex intended for a particular action to take place.

Asking For Full (or Equal) Custody

There are situations where a father will request either full or 50/50 custody to scare a wife into settling for less during divorce settlement negotiations. And she may be willing to take less than she is entitled to, if it means retaining full custody of her children. Your best bet is to offer split custody from the beginning. This takes away any leverage a husband can use and it is in the best interest of the children to spend equal time with two parents who love them.

Digging Up Dirt

It may seem far-fetched, but vindictive exes are capable of anything. Stalking and harassment should be reported to the police, and your guard should be up at all times. It is important not to reveal private or sensitive information publicly, such as among friends or on social media, as your words may be used against you in court. 

The quickest way to end up with an empty bank account is to fight dirty during divorce. If you keep it clean and refuse to fight “fire with fire” during this time your spouse’s dirty tricks will all be revealed in time.

Giving in and getting down and dirty yourself gets you nowhere and leaves a stain on your character that you will live with permanently. Take the high road, and don’t do anything you will one day look back on with shame. 

Article Sources
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  1. Sheehan E. Using Rule 11 Sanctions to Punish Accusers Who Make False Allegations of Child Sexual Abuse in Custody and Divorce Cases. Fam Court Rev. 2019;57:121-135. doi:10.1111/fcre.12400

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