Despite summer's romantic stereotype, it's not uncommon to find yourself in the hottest season of all with a lukewarm love life. And in our digital age, the easiest (and most common) way to start a new relationship is through dating apps. With that said, it's not always easy to make a human connection through a screen. For help in this department, we talked to Jess Carbino, Ph.D., Tinder's resident sociologist. Below, read up on her top six tips for getting back into the dating game.
Seems straightforward, but you'd be surprised how little investment we can often convey, both in person and online. "Users perceive investment on the basis of whether their match talks to them or asks them questions about themselves," explains Carbino. "Users who want to signal that they are interested in getting to know someone should use the information available in the other person’s profile. Asking a question about their photos or the information in their bio is a great way to start a conversation!"
Embrace the Follow-Up
We're all busy and managing very chaotic schedules. So if a conversation has gone cold, don't be afraid to follow up. "By sending a brief text to re-engage and follow up, you can keep the conversation going," Carbino suggests. "This also helps establish investment."
Don't Be Too Mysterious
Make sure any information about you in your bios is reflective of who you are and give someone who is interested in you some insight. "Including a bio in your profile is highly critical," she suggests. "Users with bios not only benefit at the matching level but also later at the messaging level." So take a few minutes this weekend to stage an update.
Originality Is Key
Commonalities are amazing, but if there's one thing dating apps and social media have shown us is that a lot of us tend to like similar things. "A photograph of a man surfing in Los Angeles is fairly common and does not allow users to understand how you differ from the 60 other men in your area that have photos of themselves surfing," Carbino adds. So don't be afraid to stand out! Showcase the things and interests that make you who you uniquely are.
Always Start With a Question
While a bit run-of-the-mill, asking a question is usually a surefire way to kick off a fun and lasting discussion. "Nearly 35% of men and women say they want to receive a question about themselves as an opening line," Carbino instructs us. And if you're communicating through an app, you'll definitely know someone did a bit of research if they ask you a question based on your interests.
Don't Keep It Too Short
Almost 20% of women and men keep it generic for their opening line or first text message. Yikes! And the classic "Hey" is the beginner for 20% of Tinder users—short and sweet much? So put something more interesting out there to start. It could be asking the name of their dog or that epic vacation photo you found on their Instagram.
Next up, find out the one question you should never ask on a dating app.