You can have the best sex life ever. It's not rocket science—anyone can be good at it, and we can all keep improving our skills. In fact, this is part of a married person’s job: Good sex is part of the foundation of a good marriage. From the basic to the more advanced, here are 10 ways to liven up your sex life.
Talk to Your Spouse More
In addition to talking about sex and sharing your sexual fantasies, you and your husband or wife should talk more in general. Improving your communication by speaking with one another more frequently will make you feel closer to each other. That will make you more intimate and probably less inhibited in the bedroom—or wherever you prefer to make love.
Spend More Time on Foreplay
Sex should be something to which you look forward. Foreplay is what gets you excited and anticipating the main event. It doesn’t have to be limited to the 15 minutes before you’d like to have sex.
Start the day with sexy messages (think a text with a revealing photo or an email expressing how hot your husband looked as you both left for work).
Get Better at Oral Sex
Foreplay may end with both partners performing oral sex on one another. It can be quite pleasurable and really put women, in particular, in the mood for sex. When going down on a woman, men can try slow, soft movements with their tongue. Women, while performing fellatio on a man, should use their lips and tongue. Both partners can use their hands to enhance the experience. Let your spouse lead you with directions, so you know what they prefer.
Try New Positions
This might seem like an obvious tip, but you’d be surprised by the number of married people who get stuck in a rut by performing the same combination of positions over and over again. There is more to sex than missionary and cowgirl. You might try reverse cowgirl or doggy style. The point is to try a new sexual position and to see if you and your partner enjoy it.
Climax at the Same Time
Reaching orgasm at the same time is easier said than done. But if the woman can orgasm (it’s usually more difficult for her) and she gives her husband fair warning that it’s about to happen, he might be able to reach orgasm with her. This intensifies the moment and truly has the two of you feeling like one. In the end, you’ll probably collapse into each others' arms from exhaustion and have the best sleep ever.
Dress for Sex All the Time
Wearing sexy lingerie or silk boxers (or nothing at all) underneath your work clothes or even sweats will help you feel sexy and a little naughty. This can put you in the mood for sex and throughout the day will have you anticipating the moment you finally get naked. It will also serve as a lovely surprise as your husband or wife undresses you.
While some people have to schedule sex to make sure it happens, there is something exhilarating about having sex with your partner unexpectedly. If your husband is in the bathroom getting ready for work and you rub against him, push him against the wall, give him a kiss, and it leads to sex right then and there, you’ll both start the day with a smile.
Use Toys or Lubricant to Enhance the Experience
There’s nothing wrong with bringing a vibrator to bed or getting KY Jelly to make sure sex isn't painful or simply more stimulating. Some couples enjoy browsing at sex shops together to find items that would improve their sex life. Consider everything from chocolate body paints to whips and chains with your partner without feeling embarrassed. Discuss what kinds of things would appeal to you both, but don't feel forced to participate if you’re not comfortable.
Indulge in Quickies
You don’t always have time for marathon sex, but that doesn’t mean you should go without. A great quickie on your lunch hour or just before leaving for work can leave you feeling refreshed and satisfied. Ladies who have trouble reaching orgasm with a quickie can still find pleasure in the sex and the closeness that they feel to their husband.
Return to the Basics
There is a certain level of comfort and pleasure that comes with vanilla sex. If it works for you, there's no shame in that. When your sex life seems to be stuck or you feel like you’re trying too hard, you should return to the basics—the positions and foreplay that have always worked for your husband or wife and you. Don't try to fix it what isn't broken.