As a newlywed, you want a successful marriage, though getting there can be tough There will be good times and bad, that's all part of the marriage process. We all make mistakes, though some are more common than others. We have compiled a list of 20 blunders that newlyweds may face, and what to do when you falter.
Failing to Think Beyond the Wedding
Some couples get so wrapped up in the wedding festivities that they fail to comprehend what they’re getting themselves into. The reception was a lot of fun, but that was only day one of your new marriage. Now, you have to live together, get along, and form your own family. Enjoy the wedding planning and the afterglow of your big day but keep the big picture in your head at all times; that's your life as a couple.
Trying to Change Your Spouse
Presumably, you married your spouse because you are in love with him or her. If that’s the case, then there’s no good reason for changing your spouse. Frankly, most adults don’t drastically change, so your best bet is to accept your spouse and love him or her for the ways he or she is unique and different and not in spite of those things.
Getting Off on the Wrong Foot with Your In-Laws
If the damage has already been done, do whatever you can to improve the relationship you have with your in-laws. Be the first to extend the olive branch because the only person who gets hurt when you fight with the in-laws is your spouse, who feels caught in the middle.
Letting Emotions Win
Getting aggressive or yelling and screaming is not going to help you and your spouse resolve problems or differences of opinion. Rational, calm discussion will get your further. If you need to, seek marriage counseling when things get too difficult to parse through yourselves.
Avoiding Important Discussions
No one likes to talk about difficult subjects like how to handle money, what to do if you can’t have children, or how to prepare for a death in the family. Now that you’re married, however, you have no choice but to discuss these matters. Be an adult and discuss it all with your spouse. Again, seek counseling if the subject or situation requires it.
Acting Like You Are Still Single
Hanging out with your friends all night and going to clubs was all right when you were a single person with no one waiting for you at home. Now you’ll need to negotiate how much time to spend with friends and how to maintain your former friendship while balancing that with your marriage. This will come into play more when you have children together, but it's always good to start habits early.
Being Too Proud
A spouse who holds out for an apology after every argument or denies affection to their partner is doing nothing good for the marriage. This is an example of letting pride get in the way of resolving problems and, ultimately, your love. You must allow yourself to go easy and find a way to take responsibility for your own actions.
Rushing Into Having Children
Some couples don’t give themselves enough time to be married to each other. If you can wait to have children, you should consider it—you’ll never have this time alone again. Once children arrive, they will have to be the focus of your attention.
Going Into Debt
Managing bills and debt can put a strain on a new marriage. If you are already in debt, make a plan to pay it off. Stay on budget, get your finances in order, and you’ll probably fight less. After all, this is now a burden that you both share, so it should not be taken lightly. If nothing else, you’ll sleep better at night.
Having Unrealistic Expectations
If you think marriage is always a walk in the park, you have another thing coming. There will be hard times. It takes a while to get the hang of living with the person you love and making the relationship work. Don’t think that the problems you had before you walked down the aisle are simply going to disappear because you’re married. Some problems never will go away. It’s how you deal with them that counts.
Making Decisions Without Consulting Your Spouse
There are two people in your relationship. When you were single, you might have made decisions about where to go after work, what vacations to take, and how to spend your money without discussing it with anyone. Now, however, your decisions have an impact on your spouse, too. He or she has a right to have input in these choices.
Taking Your Partner for Granted
Remembering all the reasons you love your spouse and appreciating the little things he or she does takes some work. But it’s an integral part of building a strong marriage. Once you start to forget or simply expect your spouse to do certain things for you, he or she may feel unappreciated and you could start having problems.
Abandoning Your Sex Life
Marriage does not have to mean the end of your sex life. Maintaining sexual health is an intrinsic part of marriage, keeping things interesting, and making sure that you and your spouse are satisfied. When problems do arise, you should address them and find solutions that both of you are comfortable with.