In spite of what you hear from some, divorce isn’t always highly conflicted and anger filled. It isn’t always about fighting it out in front of a judge or, using the children as pawns to punish each other. There are couples who can work civilly together, and when this happens, you have an “uncontested divorce.
What Is an Uncontested Divorce?
An uncontested divorce occurs when both spouses agree that the marriage is to end and come to a mutually satisfying agreement regarding the final divorce settlement. The streamlined divorce procedure can often save a couple time and money.
Maturity and the acceptance that, if your spouse wants a divorce, you can’t control him/her moving forward with a divorce, play a big role in uncontested divorces.
Both parties can come together, as adults and not use the legal system to exacerbate any marital conflict beyond the marriage itself.
When Amanda and Nick went through their divorce, Amanda was heartbroken. She wanted her family to remain intact but, she also knew that engaging in a high conflict divorce would make her pain worse and impact their children in a negative manner.
Amanda chose to look beyond her needs in order to promote the needs of all involved.
She also realized that, even though Nick no longer wanted to be married to her, together they were more equipped to settle their issues than a divorce court judge.
She didn’t want a judge deciding custody of their children, or who got what possession. She wanted those decisions left in the hands of the people who had the most invested, her and her husband.
Will Your Divorce Be Uncontested?
It can be. If you are your spouse can come to an agreement on issues such as child custody and support, a division of marital property and spousal support you can settle your divorce out of court.
You will need to consult a divorce, attorney. It is in each party’s best interest to retain their own divorce attorney to review any agreements and make sure their client’s best interest is protected. When the parties hire their attorneys, they should explain to the attorney that they want their divorce to be uncontested. That they are not hiring an attorney only to end up in divorce court.
Once the parties have come to an agreement on the above issues, had their attorneys review the agreement the attorneys will file the final paperwork with the courts. Some states require a final hearing where both spouses must be present. Some don’t, and it is as simple as waiting for your final divorce decree to be mailed out to you.
Keep in mind that, an uncontested divorce is not necessarily an easy process. Divorce triggers negative emotions even at its best. Negotiations and disputes during negotiations of a divorce settlement can have a powerful emotional impact on both spouses. For an uncontested divorce to happen, you need to be able to put those negative emotions on the back burner and deal with the business at hand.
If you can’t, you will end up in front of a judge, in divorce court. You will spend large amounts of money on legal fees and months fighting over issues that you should be able to resolve on your own. I once heard a woman say, “I’ll let the judge decide.” She thought she would get all of what she wanted and then some. She walked away with far less than she thought was fair because of her refusal to negotiate and settle for what was fair to all involved.
An uncontested divorce would have benefited her greatly but, she allowed her anger and negative emotions to drive her decision making and ending up regretful and with less money in the bank.