Here's What Women Want in a Man

a man and woman walking down a sidewalk

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Before you can decide whether or not to commit to a person, you need to know what you're actually looking for. While more superficial qualities like good looks and sexual chemistry come into play, there are a few other must-have characteristics women look for in a man they hope to spend the rest of their lives with. We rounded up the seven essential things women want in a man.


When a man believes in himself, knows who he is, and knows what he wants, it's very appealing to a woman.

It’s important to note the key distinction between having high self-esteem versus an over-inflated ego. While women want a man who is confident and self-assured, they don’t want a man who is overbearing, has to be the center of attention, and thinks he’s the most important person in the world.

Being confident means being comfortable with who you are and believing in yourself and that you’re worth it. Women respond to the positive and upbeat energy a confident man is putting out in the world.


When a man is honest and trustworthy, he instantly becomes more appealing and desirable to a woman. If he’s dependable, truthful, genuine, and speaks from the heart, he's a guy who is worth pursuing, as people can take him at his word. "Trust and trustworthiness allow relationships to deepen," says licensed counselor Suzanne Degges-White.


Having integrity means acting virtuously and having a strong moral character. Women desire a man who is honorable, fair, and ethical. In terms of relationships, having integrity can help strengthen the bond a man has with a woman, as his moral principles will guide his behavior and help him to be the best partner that he can be. 


A man who is compassionate and empathetic is one step ahead when it comes to attracting women. Women want a man they can open up to, whether it’s about a bad day at the office or in regard to their deepest hopes and fears. Having empathy means that you’re able to understand another person's point of view and can sympathize with what they are going through. Women are highly interested in a man who has the ability and desire to show care and concern for others. 

Emotional Availability

Women desire a man who is emotionally honest and forthright rather than a man who is cut off and emotionally unavailable. While fully and openly expressing feelings may seem strange or awkward at first, it’s important to be able to show a vulnerable, emotional, and human side to yourself in order to build a lasting relationship. Women prefer a man who isn’t afraid to show their true feelings instead of a man who keeps everything bottled up inside of him. 


In order to have a healthy, happy, and successful relationship, both partners have to treat each other with respect. If a woman feels taken for granted, dispensable, or treated poorly by a man, she'll likely drop him in order to avoid a broken heart. "When a person is made to feel disrespected or patronized, the relationship is likely to end sooner rather than later," Degges-White says. A woman will be more drawn to a man who shows her care and gives her the respect she deserves.

A Sense of Humor

You don’t need to be a stand-up comedian or a comedy writer to capture a woman's attention, but having the ability to goof off, joke around, and have a sense of humor is highly appealing. "When two people are laughing at the same thing, they are basically saying, "I share your perspective, your values, and I certainly share what you think is amusing," says Jeffrey Hall, Ph.D., associate professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas. A man who exudes a happy, lighthearted, and positive energy into the world will make a woman want to be around him.

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