If your marriage is on the rocks and you have called around to a few recommended marriage counselors in your area, you might have experienced sticker shock over the cost. After doing the math, you probably realized the months of therapy you need amount to a few thousand dollars, and you might be wondering, is it really worth it?
Marriage counseling is worth it, and there are good reasons why marriage and couples’ therapy can be expensive.
The Therapist has Extensive and Costly Training
Therapists need at least a master's degree and many have a doctorate. These degrees require years of post-graduate study. After their extensive education, therapists must complete clinical hours under supervision that they pay for on a weekly basis for a minimum of two years.
Most therapists choose to attain additional training in a particular method of couples’ therapy. It is recommended that you ask about these credentials when choosing a marriage counselor. Marriage therapists are highly educated and highly skilled, and their expertise is not, and should not be inexpensive.
Insurance does not Cover Marriage Therapy
Marriage therapy does not have a billable diagnostic code for insurance, though some therapists will give one partner a diagnosis and bill for sessions under that client. You may be able to find a therapist willing to do this, but again, she may be a general therapist and not have specialized training to work with couples. Some therapists ethically wish to avoid labeling one of you when the problem being treated is a relational issue.
Marriage Counseling Takes Longer Than Individual Therapy
Relationship dynamics are complex and working with you both as a couple takes more time than individual therapy. The assessment process alone can take up to four sessions. You also may have waited too long to get help and the problems can be bigger and more complicated by the time you finally make the call to find a therapist.
Marriage Counselors Have a Hard Time With the “50 Minute Hour”
The sweet spot for an effective couples’ session seems to be around 75–90 minutes. Things are usually hitting a pivotal time around 50–60 minutes, and stopping at this point is a challenge. It is best to tie up loose ends as much as possible in each session and this often requires more time with two people than it does with one.
Keep in mind that marriage therapy will always cost less than a divorce. If you are financially struggling, you may be able to find a “sliding fee” therapist or community agency for less than a traditional marriage therapist. If you are near a university or training center, going to that institution’s clinic may be a viable solution as well, but expect to be working with someone still under supervision for their degree and/or license. Note that the quality may vary with these selections, so be sure to ask the right questions to find out about the therapist’s specialized training with couples and how he will be supervised.
A couples workshop or group is also often a lower-cost option. Reading highly recommended self-help books together can also be beneficial. This may only work for couples with minor or less complicated issues. Doing a workshop and reading self-help books can also possibly assist in shortening the time you need to be in marriage therapy. It never hurts to ask a marriage therapist for a reduced fee. The worst he or she can say is "no." The next question might be about another therapist or a resource the therapist might recommend if their services are still not affordable.
Although marriage therapy is costly, it is worth it. If you are not sure that it is right for you and your spouse, you both can always commit to an initial visit or try “discernment counseling” to explore if therapy is a good option for your relationship. Making the effort to find the best help you can afford or budgeting your money for this service is a smart idea. When you commit to counseling, give it your full, sincere effort and you will find it was a wise investment in your marriage.