Cheating: Knowing If Your Relationship Will Survive

Certain types are easier to overcome

Updated 11/13/19
  Edward Berthelot 

One of the hardest issues faced by a victim of infidelity is figuring out if the relationship can survive. Whether or not you two will move past infidelity is dependent on many things.

Trust has to be restored and the cheater must be willing to cooperate and give you whatever you need to restore that trust. There can be no contact with the other man/woman. There has to be a willingness to disclose all information regarding the infidelity/affair. The cheater must be fully remorseful for their actions. Relationships can survive infidelity under certain circumstances. Certain types of cheating are easier to overcome than others.

unhappy couple
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The One Night Stand

While no one can make excuses for anyone who is unfaithful, we are all capable of making mistakes. Being flawed human beings who make mistakes, we may be deserving of second chances. Working together as a couple to fix the problem could mean ending up with a stronger bond and better communication than you had before the infidelity.

A Midlife Crisis

A person going through a midlife crisis may become destructive to themselves and those they love. They don’t call it a “crisis” for nothing. If your partner goes through a midlife crisis and looks outside the relationship in an attempt to find answers to how they are feeling, if you are able to forgive, you can pull through.

If They Were Under The Influence

Being under the influence of drugs or alcohol is not an excuse for bad behavior. But, drugs and alcohol can influence certain people to do things they would not normally do. If your significant other engages in infidelity while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, consider whether it was your spouse driving the behavior or the drugs or alcohol (only if it is a one-time occurrence). If they have a history of drug and alcohol abuse along with infidelity, you are enabling their behavior by continually forgiving them for it.

They Care About How You Feel

If the cheater has genuine empathy for the pain they caused you, there is a good chance you two can move forward. When you become upset with your partner, they should be willing to answer questions, offer comfort, and not attempt to shut down your feelings.

If the cheater has true empathy, they will be patient and loving during your period of recovery and while trust is being rebuilt. 

How Does Someone Earn Forgiveness After Cheating?

  • They sincerely and whole-heartedly desire forgiveness for the pain they have caused.
  • They show you kindness and concern regarding your well-being.
  • They are willing to admit their mistake and discuss all the important details. 
  • The cheater is willing to keep talking, no matter how long it takes, to ease your pain.
  • They immediately stop the affair. 

Rebuilding a relationship after infidelity isn't an easy road to travel. The person who cheated needs to be on board with whatever you need from them to rebuild the lost trust and fully commit to your relationship again.

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